Photo Tour of Mary's Christmas Break!

Brandon and Heidi Hoekema wedding photos:






As exciting as it sounds, I hope.



And now for some Family Christmas Photos! YES!

If you're shaking your head because most of my family pictures are baby Charlie-centric, that's because you forgot I'm in love with him. So is everyone else. At one point, he had eight adults cooing endearments and watching him roll from his back to his stomach. And yes, that is my brother cleaning up Charlie Vomit! Hurray for him! (My brother, not the baby).

Sunshine

The weather forecast tells me that, even though it is now only 2:10, I have less than two hours left of daylight. This makes me sad.

On the positive side, I ate the best roast beef sandwich ever today. And my bridesmaid's dress came back fitting me almost perfectly! Hurray! I can go to Heidi's wedding after all!

My First Day Off

Well. The semester's over. I count today as my first official day off. The weekend did not count because a) I was busy, b) I never had class on the weekend, and c) I don't really remember the weekend because I was so shell-shocked.

Here's what I did today:

7:30 - alarm went off
9:30ish - got up
9:35ish - went for a (COLD) run
10:30ish - showered
(missing hours - I don't know what happened here)
noon - breakfast, making Christmas presents
2:30-3:30 - stared at the window
3:30- 5:00 - baked! gingersnaps and a pumpkin pie
(another missing hour - don't know what happened)
6:00 - made a salad for dinner
6:10 - ate it
6:45 - group girls came over
7:00 - went to friends' house to go CAROLING! yay!

I love caroling. It was really fun. Hurray for a successful day off! Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

bored

I was So Bored in English class this week.

I felt some sympathy for the students, who were also bored. I felt less sympathy for the girl who was just being a brat, and for the flirty couple in the corner. But overall, sympathy.

But English CAN be so fun! We could write silly stories or play Latin roots games or talk about serious issues or analyze poetry.

Note to future self: If your class is ever this boring two days in a row, quit. Just quit. You're wasting everyone's time.

argh.

I definitely drove all the way up to the college library to do my homework. I also definitely left my flash drive (equals: all homework) at home.

Anyone else self-sabotaging today?

Vaccinated!

I am now vaccinated and ready to go to Africa! Four shots and two sore arms will prevent me from contracting Oregon Trail diseases like:

Typhoid

Polio

Hepatitis A

and Yellow Fever!

I learned that Yellow Fever is a viral hemorrhagic fever like Ebola. Kind of like Ebola. Except for the Ebola part. But similar.

more high school stories:

Student: "what's wrong with this sentence?"
Me: "umm... well, the first problem is it's not actually a sentence. you need a predicate."
Student: "what's a predicate?
Me: "the verb that describes what the noun is doing."
Student: "i don't have that?"
Me: "no."


Teacher: "Billy, come up here and pretend to be the teacher."
Billy: "Alright!"
Teacher: "Look at the class. What do you think they need?"
Billy: "To get all they wiggles out!"
Teacher: "Ok, class, get all they wiggles out."

Adventures in Christian Culture

I thought for a long time about whether or not I should write this post. I'm not sure I can do it and avoid edging into the judgment and slander side of how I feel. I'll try my best not to sin.

A friend invited me to a Christmas play at a church in town this last week, and I went because I like my friend and I like plays. A good combination, no? As soon as the choir came out to rev up the audience with some "Christmas Carols" (I'll explain the quotation marks in a minute), there was an incongruity in me. I felt totally alien from this church culture. Even though they are my brother and sisters, I felt uncomfortable and foreign. The choir, with outrageously large grins sang songs I'd never heard before about the Christmas spirit, hating fruitcake your friends make for you as a gift, and forcing your spouse to put up thousands upon thousands of lights even though he's afraid of heights. I felt no Christmas spirit. I felt amazement at the array of glittery, Christmas-treed sweaters (I thought it was a joke at first). I felt appalled at the blatant gender roles and subtle negativity towards women (as bakers of said rejected fruitcake waltzing around in frilly aprons and as drill sergeants of said trembling husbands). I felt baffled by the rampant consumerism in the props and multiple costume changes for the maybe 50 actors. I did not feel Christ honored.

The play went through the various ways that (British) Christians have celebrated Christmas historically, as a means to change the cold heart of the protagonist, a man too busy and cold to see the true meaning of Christmas. He comes around eventually, and asks the female protagonist to tell him more about her faith. The story was fine, if a little fluffy. The performance was fine too. There are some talented actors and singers. But it felt like a false front - I wondered where the poverty of Mary and Joseph came into play in the buying of gifts, the glittery outside, and the superficial carols. I wondered how many widows and orphans could have been fed and clothed with the money spent on costumes alone. I wondered if the audience left with any true Awe and Gratitude that the Mighty King came down to be born as a cold, poor, crying baby for their sake. I wondered what the pastor acted like when no one was looking.

And it made me grateful to be in the church community I'm in - where I can be genuine in joy or sorrow or fallenness. Where I know who my pastor is - for his strengths and struggles - and how the money is spent. I am thankful for our striving for meaning and truth. I am mostly thankful for our focus on Christ.

I recognize that, in the words of my friend, I am a Judger. It's a good thing I worship a God who redeems even that and who turns my sin into prayers for humility, centeredness, and gratitude. And our kids' Christmas play is this Sunday - maybe I'll feel the same way. Maybe I'll realize that my relationships with the little actors makes all the differences.

I haven't decided how I feel about:

A good camera acting as substitute for healthy diet and exercise.

best icebreaker ever

At group last night, our opener was a jelly bean tasting contest. The lovely Lindsay passed out Jelly Bellies randomly, and we went in a circle, trying our bean and guessing the flavor. The trick: they weren't ordinary jelly beans. They were Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Which, for the record, are awesome.


My first one: Black Pepper. It tasted like pepper.

I did try (on purpose) soap, dirt, and grass. I especially liked dirt.

I was not brave enough to try vomit or rotton eggs.

Had there been any left, I would have tried bacon, earthworm, and earwax.

I'm undecided on booger.

Best quote: "If my vomit tasted like this, I'd eat it!"

What I Learned in Class Today

A scan of my class notes:


Yes, that is a flying giraffe. And that moustached man gave blood today.

That's right, folks, I'm in grad school!

My strangest habit might be cutting off my split ends, one by one.

When the light's just right I can see them all come out like they're mocking me. It makes my hair look entirely ill, half-dead like a wig or a corpse's head. It's really ugly. So I cut them off. The really insidious thing about the dead ends is that they catch the healthy pieces up in tangles, which can make the healthy hair split in turn. So the deadness multiplies.

I usually stop cutting when someone takes the scissors away or when I'm tempted to take the blades and just chop off chunks. Today I didn't stop. I chopped. And just found more. My hair is lifeless. Even as I'm trying to cut off the dead parts, I wonder if there is anything salvageable here. Or if I should just give up entirely. It's all so dead that it can't possiby look healthy again.

So, the funny habit that usually soothes me just made me feel grossly inadequate. Funny how little things can irritate so much.

Sinusitis... dun dun duh

After four days of throbbing face pain and drippy goop, two of which were spent subtly slipping out of classrooms to relieve my face of said goop and explaining to kids that yes I am sick, I finally have me some medicine. Two kinds. One for the Vengeful Bacteria (if you say that with a stuffy nose it's almost alliterative), and another for the aforementioned goop.

I like the word goop.

goop goop goop.

I also have a sinus rinse. It sounds equal parts scary, icky, and dangerously exciting. I'm considering a photodocumentary of the proceedings.

On another humorous note, here's a funny student quote: "Where's your cell phone, I'll put my number in it." No. Absolutely not. Go away.

SINUS UPDATE: Hi. My name is Mary, and I'm addicted to sinus rinse. It wasn't even particularly fun. I'm dizzy. I gagged. It still tastes bad. But I really really want to do it again. Soon.

tidbits

"And, as we all know, reality has nothing to do with the way we feel" - the redheaded roomie

And, Super Picture of the Day: my new cousin and I!
He's the handsomest cousin in the world.

the mind tells the body what to do

Dear Body,

This is Mind. Hey, I'm really sorry you're feeling ill. I think you'll agree that we rested a great deal this weekend, and coddled your infirmity as much as possible.

However, I'm done with this being sick business. Between the two of us, you're grossing me out. Stop dripping, stop coughing, stop sneezing your pathogens everywhere, stop falling asleep without my permission, stop aching behind the eyes, stop chasing my friends away, and for crying out loud STOP GETTING WORSE.

You will heal. You will sleep during appropriate hours. You will allow me to finish homework. I'm tired of your arguments. This is it.

Love,
Mind

P.S. Exhibit A:

Notice the used kleenexes piled shoulder high, and the one eye that looks like someone punched you in the face. Body, this is not the look we're going for.

quote of the week:

"By day, I'm a mild-mannered English teacher, by night a heroin addicted whale who likes cheese." - a teacher I observed on Friday, to his class

hmm....

I think I'm the only student in the cohort who has not been identified as gifted.

But, to end on an upper, I finally turned in that big paper (the one that was giving me so much grief). It's 36 pages long. I skipped a couple parts. I'll have to redo it, but at least I can't agonize about it right now.

Sunday School Quotes (the best kind)

Teacher: What are some things today that are like prophesy?
Kid: The Disney Channel!

Teacher: ... Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Kid: PRINCESS PEACHES??

Tidbits of a Saturday Afternoon

It was sunny this morning. It's cloudy now.

I've been in the library since 11 a.m.

It's cold in here. My hood is on.

I'll be here until they kick me out at 6 p.m.

One big paper checked off the list so far.

I'm on page 24 of my second big paper.

I might not finish.

There's a cool painting of a tractor on the wall.

old pictures

I was looking through my pictures from this summer, and I wanted to share this one. It's my favorite.

giraffes can't dance

It feels like it's been raining forever.

Some days, especially when it's been raining, I really just want to feel like I'm really good at something.

Some days, especially in November, I am trapped in this tension between grieving and feeling new growth in me.

It's going to rain again tomorrow.

side note

all in favor of jazzy starting a blog say aye!

No Biting

I had the pleasure of visiting my Redhead Roomie's preschool classroom this afternoon after high school got out. Her children are smaller than mine. And way cuter. And two of them ran up to me to sit in my lap at circle time - Praise the Lord they don't try that in high school. In spite of the obvious differences, I was struck by the similarities of our students. We could have the exact same classroom rules (though they're called expectations now).

Keep your hands, legs, and mouths to yourselves.

Clean up when you make a mess.

Use your good manners.

No throwing.

If you need to throw a tantrum, do it in an appropriate place until you're ready to rejoin the class.

Always offer the teacher your gummy bears.

Go potty in the toilet.

Procrastination 101

Halloween

We had pirates, gangsters, a tooth fairy, couple superheros. nurse. and even a pregnant nun. It was fun.
Feel free to peruse the photo selection and be happy you came (or sad because I missed you).

Dread Pirate Mary

I was a pirate for our Halloween party. This was basically an excuse to have a sword and put my hair in dreads. Until I manage to upload my pictures from the actual party, here's a hair preview:



Isn't it awesome? I may keep it for a couple more days. We'll see how long it takes to start itching.

a couple questions:

1. Have you ever created an angry dance? What did it look like? Where do you dance it?

2. What can one make for dinner with fermenting barbeque sauce, one slice of cheese, and some old marshmallow fruit dip?

3. Is there an everyday household product I can put on my face for Halloween to make it look dirty?

self-knowledge and naps

In my ed psych class, we've been doing a lot of activities about discovering things about our personalities. It's so much fun. Today I learned that I'm a 7 point on the Enneagram Personality inventory. I'm a visionary!

Worldview: The world is full of exciting eideas and possibilities to explore!

High Side: Innovative, enthusiastic, big-picture planners

Low Side: Intellectual dilletantes

Leadership style: management by awalking around, cheerleading for people and ideas

Appeal to: fun, idealism, adventure

Don't appeal to: duty, norms

Talk: brainstorming, storytelling

When I'm stressed out, I tend to be a perfectionist. When I'm relaxed, I tend to be an observer.

On a totally unrelated note, I took a nap in my car today at lunch time. It made me grumpy. I was cold, tired, and my blanket smelled like wet trunk. But class cheered me right up. At this moment, I'm procrastinating my homework that's due tonight! Boo homework!

quotes of the day:

"Most of this work is just puking. All we do is puke!" - classmate

"Oh my goodness - those teenage girls are aggressive!" - prof talking about watching girls pursue his teenage son

"My mom always says if you're sneaking it's sin!" - Karli

procrastination

so, for those of you who keep track, I have indeed blogged four times today. this is procrastination at its finest.I have a couple hundred pages of reading I may or may not get to. we'll see how it goes.

and one funny extra

late friday night....

fall pictures

gah

Are you ever afraid to talk to good-looking people?

So you don't.

In fact, do you ever run away from them? Even when they are talking to your friends?

sleep fantasies

I think maybe I have mild insomnia. I go to bed at 11:30 and can't fall asleep even though I got up at 5 a.m. and have only been getting about that much sleep every night this week. Thoughts of school, class, students, homework, and papers whirl around in my brain all night. I can barely form sentences and the circles under my eyes are astounding in both their hue and their protuberance. I would love to sleep. Wake up whenever I want, maybe just lie there for a while. Mmm... sounds nice.

At least we got to go on a retreat today. There was the most amazing speaker. I wanted to BE her. Maybe someday...

Suspicious Minds

I have the impulse to punch every man I see in our neighborhood. In the face. Hard.

angry.

I'm sitting at home alone trying to do homework while my mom and TJ are on a walk. It's unusually difficult today. Partly because I didn't sleep well at all. Mostly because I'm anxious about being home by myself. Every time I hear a noise, every time the neighbor's dog barks I'm up looking out windows.

Some masculine person saw fit to carry on inappropriate behaviors outside a window while the poor redhead was home alone on the computer last night. Police came, couldn't do much. I'm filled with Rage. And supremely grossed out. What on earth is wrong with this world? Even though I know the answer, I still get mad. And I get madder when my thought process suddenly begins a we-must-have-done-something-to-deserve-this-it's-my-fault mindset. Lies. Inside my head. The pit of hell is outside our house and inside my mind.

Rescue me, O LORD, from evil men;
protect me from men of violence,
who devise evil plans in their hearts
and stir up war every day.

Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked;
protect me from men of violence
who plan to trip my feet.

O LORD, I say to you, "You are my God."
Hear, O LORD, my cry for mercy.

Surprise! Your Brain is Broken!

Apparently I've been under some stress recently. Let me share a story to evidence this sorry fact:

Weekends are the balm of my existence. I can sleep in until 7ish, get my homework done, and maybe do something fun with friends. Next weekend I planned to hang out with my mom and her friend TJ - go to a play, maybe my roommate's concert, eat yummies, general parents-avisiting stuff. This weekend, however, I needed some rest. I had no plans. I came home from my teacher conference happy and exhausted. I had just sat down to blog about the teacher conference when I heard a knock at the door. Lo and behold, there stood my mom and TJ. I got my weekends mixed up and wrote the wrong dates on my planner and both calendars.

Oops.

Luckily, it's worked out really well. Two roomies are gone for the weekend (at the Sufjan Stevens concert), so we actually have extra beds. AND I have considerably less homework than usual. And I get to go to the play twice. :)

Lovely Fall Days

Today was a good day.

I would have fallen on my head when that burly high school accidentally pushed me, except the Great Hallway Throng was so thick I was saved.

I heart freshmen. I led an AVID tutorial today (nobody wanted my content areas, so I led a history one). It was really funny. Mostly off task. One said, "I don't really need help in history, but you looked interesting so I picked this group." What? Ok. He later said, "Want to go get pizza after school?" No. Absolutely not. Thanks. No. I think he was joking.

It was warm and sunny.

grammar

In everyday speech, I'm pretty lenient with grammatical mistakes. I make them. Other people make them. We still communicate. I make a small effort to speak correctly, but I don't panic if my nouns and verbs don't quite agree. On this bog I'm pretty laid back about my own writing. However, in academic writing, I do my darndest to write like a professional. That means I use standard spelling and grammar conventions. I want to sound like I know what I'm writing about. I think this is reasonable.

That's why it was so shocking when one of my textbooks featured outrageous mistakes. For example: Assessments are good tools to find out where the students are at. Where are the students at? That poor, unneccessary "at" is just drifting along purposelessly at the end of the sentence. No one wants it there. It doesn't need to be there. It's just there, making the textbook narrator sound like a hick.

There were more mistakes. I can't remember them now - I think I blocked them out of my memory. Why am I reading such dribble?

On another grammatically amusing note, we had a discussion in Methods class that made me and my fellow grammar student friend laugh. In grammar class we had a discussion about how English doesn't have a gender neutral pronoun. If someone were to say, "An anonymous donor provided the funds for all the MIT students to go to a conference," I wouldn't know the gender of the donor. If I wanted to ask if the donor worked nearby, I would have to say donor or he/she. Anyway, this is getting boring. The point of the story is we had the exact same dicussion in methods class. And it was funny. It's not so funny written down in a blog paragraph, but I'm tired. I'm going to get more coffee and finish my homework now. I get to answer questions like what is my most creative response to this situation? Listen to your inner stillness and write down what insights you receive about yourself and the situation.

Gah.

friday

By Friday, I get silly.

Really silly.

We made a Character Education poster to present on Monday. My contribution? After a serious attempt at writing a definition of character ed, I drew a giraffe. It's licking the "C" in character. And a monkey. It's hanging off the "E". And I traced my hand.

Aahh... grad school.

Doubt

As I'm falling gradually on the "W Curve" of the semester, I have these daily (or tri-dailyish) bouts of critical self-doubt. I would love for someone who knows me well- and who knows teaching well - to say, "Mary. You can do this. You will be a good teacher."

Which is when Jesus pipes in and says, "Mary, why aren't you asking me?"

"Umm..."

"Right. Even if I've told you to do this thing that you are unable to do, there's a perfectly good reason. Stop your whining and get to work."

Well, more or less. He usually speaks his truth a little gentler, without being wishy-washy fluffy in the slightest. Which is how I know it's Him.

Quote of the Day:

"Now the elementary teachers have their students crawl up in their laps and give them hugs. We prefer you don't do that." - on avoiding lawsuits

mmm... saturdays

I slept in until 7:30 today. It was glorious. I feel so good.

It was a little disconcerting to arrive as the college library opened, and I will leave when they close... 9 hours later. Granted, I took a two hour lunch break with the lovely Jasmine. But seven hours is still a lot of homework time, and I don't really feel like I produced all that much. I will have finished two bigger projects, though.

I get to play games with the girls in my group tonight. Hurrah! Something to look forward to!

And there are kids from Malawi coming to my church tomorrow. Have I told y'all that I'm going to Malawi for January? Well, I am. God willing. I'll be doing my multicultural teaching experience teaching AIDS orphans. I know. Crazy intense.

I need to finish up this paper in the next 25 minutes. Happy Saturday, everybody.

today in school...

I wrote my first discipline referral to one of my favorite students.

I found out one of my students was arrested this last week for dealing cocaine.

I taught my first mini-lesson. Kind of. If Go Fish (conjugating the verb tener) counts as a lesson. They seemed to like it.

My mentor teacher was surprised that I'm not nervous to get up in front of the class. I told her, no! not if I have a plan!

Conversation of the Day

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you really need a haircut," said a boy in Sunday School.

"Ummm... ok. What way should I take it?"

"I don't know. Not the wrong way."

"Ok. Don't take this the wrong way, but you need a haircut too."

turning a grr situation into a contented sigh

I discovered today that I have yet to buy a textbook for class. It will cost me $88. Ah well. So I packed up and drove to the college bookstore, only to discover they are closed on Saturdays. Too bad I have to read 100 pages in said textbook before 8 a.m. Monday morning. I drove to a nearby bookstore just in case. They didn't have it.

So, I bought two poetry books instead.

And read Sherman Alexie poems at stoplights.

If you have never read a book at stoplights, you haven't lived.

ooh, a challenge

In English class today, I looked over to see a student beating his head against his textbook.

I asked, "Hey, so, Billy, are you ok?"

"Uh huh."

"Are you bored?"

"Yeah. Really bored."

"You're good at English, though. I read your essay and it was great. Do you like it?"

"Yeah. I almost joined AP, but didn't. It's just this class. It's boring."

"Well, I'll think about it and see if I can come up with ways to make this stuff more interesting."

The next time I'll be in class, we're going over Of Plymouth Blah Blah and a slave narrative of the ship voyage. Both deal with racism, cultural misunderstanding, and perseverance. Ideas?

Creative Writing

I never took a creative writing class. I probably would have liked it. As it is, I'm not really good at it. I can write silly things, but nothing good and meaningful. Anyway, I observed the creative writing class, and the teacher made me participate in this activity:

Pick a topic.

Pick an APPROPRIATE topic.

Write a paragraph about your topic using words with only 1 syllable.

You guys should play this game. It's fun. It's also harder than it seems. I'm looking forward to reading them.

Here's my contribution about my house:

Our old, green house is too good for the likes of us. From the street, you see a cool porch and the warm yard - good thing the rose bush lives on in spite of us. Once through the door you can see that no calm, dull souls live here. The two who live in art - who breathe it in and out - have made their marks with prints and paints and the bright orange chair by the green wall. The one who tries to teach small kids (as small as they come) has her glue and paints and books with dogs that run spread out on the floor. And then there is me - my books, my mac, my school stuff piled on the side so we can dance.

Quotes of the Day:

My education classes have officially begun! Here are two goodies from class:

"Those of you who are single... well, maybe you have a dog for company."

"The first kids I taught really suffered, and I hope I don't see them on the street."

1 Confession, 2 Complaints

Confession: I snuck out of school right after 6th period. Technically I'm supposed to stay until 3 in my classroom (what classroom?) to help students (what students?) with their questions (what questions?). I left.

Complaint #1: I am already behind on my homework. "What?" you may ask. "Mary has never turned in a late assignment in her life! Are her limbs broken? Is she suffering from a hemorrhagic fever?" No. The lovely professors forgot to include the due date with the assignment ("these will be due in the fall semester" is what the syllabus told me). Now I'm behind. I planned on doing it last night, but I had to go to the night class they informed me of, oh, at 4 p.m. yesterday. That's right! Two hours before class started. I am slightly frustrated with the lack of organization and communication.

Complaint #2: It's cold today.

To remedy above complaints, I am planning on some hours curled up in a coffeeshop with the biggest hot coco they'll give me, whispering sweet nothings to my mac as we do my homework.

a couple quotes:

As seen in junior persuasive essays:

"The school gets prophets for selling soda, and not just for having the machines."

"In conclusion, starting school late can be a good thing or a bad thing for many reasons."

more school thoughts. sorry. it's my life now.

I love grammar class. I am finally in a room with 9 people who hate apostrophe abuse as much as I do. It should be fun.

After school I had a chat with one of the English teachers. He's the brusque cusser who makes fun of everyone (including himself), so the muy serioso teachers go crazy and the jokers fall in love. I'm somewhere in between. But in the course of our conversation (about classroom management/discipline), he said, "Now I know you'll appreciate this because you're a strong Christian..." We had never talked about faith. Or really anything except for some surface joking around about how I was running an errand. I'd like to think that my faith is evident through even my basic interactions, but more likely he assumed I am a believer because I go to a Christian college. It was interesting, anyway.

Freshmen are super entertaining.

I graded a Spanish project today - it was a shield the kids had to fill in with pictures of their favorite song, car, food, season, and sport. They were graded on neatness and completeness. It reminded me of a conversation with my Dour Anonymous Commentator in which he told me those projects were his Least Favorite Ever. I was gracious to the kids because of it. Thanks, DAC!

That's all for today, I think. Now, off for a jog, a room cleaning, and a drive to Seattle for a wedding!

cont.

A cause and effect chain:
I took a vitamin.
I puked.
I felt too sick to drink my coffe.
I have a headache.

Yes, if I take vitamins in the morning, they make me puke. I thought somehow my grown-up body would be more mature about vitamins than in the past. I was wrong.

We had the first spirit assembly today. It made me smile. High school kids are so funny. It's a little strange to be welcoming the freshman class. They came in the gym through a tunnel - all 400 of them. They just kept coming! All the movement (think herd of cattle) made me slightly dizzy and nauseated (see above). But then there were 48 in my graduating class. Anything over 100 is intimidating.

The kid I didn't like transferred out of the class. I feel illogically guilty.

Favorite quotes of the day:
"I am just a really really unique person, so I don't have strong opinions about that crap!"
"So, like, be respectful or whatever."

nighttime

Ok, I know the clock tells me it is 5:45 a.m.

But it's nighttime outside. It can't be morning yet. This is just plain silly.

school-related thoughts

1) I like high school kids. Except one. He said some inappropriate things in class, and I'm not looking forward to teaching him. Of course, it's the second day. Maybe I'll change my mind.

2) I'm getting rid of the link on my myspace for school/student/it's-just-a-bad-idea reasons. If that's how you're getting here, write down the address somewhere else.

3) Pretty sure I've heard the f-word more times in the last 48 hours than in my entire life before. Don't these children have a vocabulary of more than 8 words?

4) A senior (TA, no less) asked me what the word "intellect" meant. Then 3 more students (juniors) asked the regular teacher. Shocked and appalled.

5) My grammar class starts tomorrow night. This is good because at least it didn't start last week causing me to miss the first day out of extreme negligence/stress-induced amnesia. This is bad because it makes my day tomorrow last from 7 a.m. sharp to 9:30 p.m.

6) I bought some sweet new dry erase colors (boysenberry, lime, forest green, and ocean blue - nice and soothing).

7) I HAVE AN ENGLISH TEACHER! and she is pretty darn cool. She has great rapport with the kids (aforementioned juniors and senior), and I'm excited to learn from her.

8) The skaters have been the nicest to me so far, followed closely by the goth kids. Funny how sometimes stereotypes are backwards.

9) When do teachers go the bathroom? Ever? Is this a habit I have to give up?

back to work

Ok, my two weeks off from blogging has ended officially. My excuse? I was going through a rough couple weeks. I came home feeling rested and ready to go, and... sat around for two and-a-half weeks with nothing to do. My roommates worked their regular-houred jobs. I saved up laundry so I would have something to do the next day. I don’t do well with a lot of unstructured time. Idle minds, you know?

But the good news: I started school on Wednesday! I went to teacher orientation/inservice/whatever they call it at 7:30 and stayed all day.

Question for the teachers: Will I learn to love playing ice-breaker games at 7:30 am?

Three best parts:

1) My spanish mentor-teacher is amazing. She is welcoming, positive, intelligent, and organized. I love it! And she seems to like me - partly because two of my roommates were some of her favorite students ever.
2) The staff is so much fun. They laugh, talk to strangers like me, and seem to like each other a lot.
3) My new school's colors are red and black - just like my high school AND college. Hurrah!

Three parts that are causing some stress:

1) The English department ignores me completely, and keeps putting off assigning me to a teacher.
2) Actually, #1 pretty much covers it.
3) See #1 and multiply by 8.

It will all work out, I'm sure. Dear Jesus, make me patient. Love, Mary

Happy Priceversary!

I like you guys a lot.

your call is important to us

I know I owe y'all a story or two. Working on it.

Meanwhile, if you happen to feel like you want to sit in a deserted cliffside hole with nobody but rattlesnakes for company for the rest of your life, here's something to cheer you up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI&mode=related&search=

I laughed, anyway.

notice of hobo-blogging

I'm off on my family vacation! Hurrah! I will be enjoying the delights of a remote cabin on an island with some family and friends. Hopefully the next two weeks will feature lots of sunshine, a couple of fun thunderstorms, an adventure or two, and lots of books that have been sitting neglected on my shelf. I'll come back with stories.

Thanks for the hugs.

i need a hug.

anyone missing their skivvies?

I was recovering my flip flops from the dark recesses of Under the Car Seat, when I noticed with my Super CSI Skills a piece of clothing lodged down there. I pulled it out to find . . . a pair of boxer shorts.

Now, for those of you who are new or just don't know me very well, it is Highly Unusual (to say the least) to find men's undergarments in my car. Trust me.

They are blue and green striped. Size large. If these unmentionables might belong to you let me know.

mmm... soy

I ate my very first Luna Bar today. I was feeling rebellious against food for some reason (heat, stress of presenting, general rebellious nature), so a Lovely Roommate gave me one to eat for lunch. I read the back, and came across something interesting. Insoluble fiber.

What is this?

It doesn't sound good at all.

It reminds me of a physics problem. INSOLUBLE FIBER. You INSOLUBLED THE FIBER. F-.

And then I picture Fiber Particles of Steel floating around my stomach.

Or forming a gang with the Pantothenic Acid, Ferrous Fumarate, and Pyridoxine and are currently dancing around (When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way), smoking compulsively, and tagging my internal organs.

i love technology

You know when you have One Final Presentation to finish up the semester, and you work on it... oh say, yesterday. You save it to your network folder and your flash drive just to be safe. Then, hypothetically, the next morning you work on it some more. You're almost done, and really excited about it. You compulsively save it to both places again.

Then, for no apparent reason, your network folder disappears.

And your flash drive opens the presentation from yesterday.

So all the work you did today disappeared from the Face of the Technologically Defunct Planet.

I am trying really hard to be calm and not cry and pound my fists against the computer screen.

Monday Already

Well, after a blissful and entirely unproductive weekend from an academic standpoint, I find myself at 10:55 a.m. still in my pajamas not working.

We had a triple-digited-temperature weekend, which really isn't so bad as long as you don't have to be outside a lot. AND if your housemate takes you up to her lake cabin on Saturday morning, and you can lay out in the sunshine and jump in a lake every 20 minutes or so. It was lovely. We came home and the Redhead and I cleaned the house for our Shakespeare Festivities. We did Taming of the Shrew this time, which was not-quite-as-fun as Lear, but still a kick. The lot of us aspiring thesbians then went out to watch Say Anything outside a local coffeeshop. I watched it in jr. high or early high school. I appreciated it much more now.

I spent a substantial portion of yesterday at church, falling in love with Lily. Lily prays. I mean capital P Prays. Stuff like, "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day and for saving us. Thank you for loving us too. Help us learn about you and love you good. In Jesus' name. Amen." None of the other kids volunteer to pray. Lily is 4 years old. Doesn't get much better than that. We went to lunch with the speaker, who's a church planter currently in Madrid. He tried to talk us all into moving to Madrid. I'm thinking about it. I never thought I would move back to Spain, but he's got me thinking. That may have to be another post.

The afternoon, evening, and wee hours were then spent up at a river floating, swimming, climbing, and star-gazing. The river was lazy. I was lazy. The stars were as bright as I've ever seen, and sometimes they decided to run across the sky. It was exquisite.

Today I have to research and prepare the Big Project for summer term. It's due tomorrow. Haven't started. And it's now 11:07. Still in my pajamas.

skunked.

Ellyn and I were talking in our room last night when we heard rustling outside our window. We turned off the lights and looked out. Sure enough, two (or three, I'm not entirely sure) little skunks were prancing around our backyard.



They scurried around and scratched the dirt for food, then, for no apparent reason, barreled into each other headfirst. We closed the window.

on a side note

If you get a Happy Meal at McDonalds, you just may find an inflatable pirate sword inside. These provide hours of entertainment, as we discovered last night. We were hitting each other, hacking off limbs and heads, for a long time. Then our roommate's little brother came over and we played pirate some more.

He was Hunk-of-Metal Man, so we couldn't actually chop off his legs. He told me I was a Hunk-of-Mud, so technically I didn't have limbs to lose. Later I turned into a Cheeto, and got eaten. Not my idea. Or fault. It was great fun.

Gazpach-O-Rama

It's been a little on the warm side here, and there's nothing as satisfying on a hot day than a cupful of gazpacho. Unfortunately, it's a little labor-intensive. This time around, I decided to document said labor. This may make for a more PBS-esque blog than the Wild Entertainment you're used to, so consider yourself warned.

Step One: Peel, seed, and chop lots of veggies. Peeling tomatoes is one of my favorite things. It's a lot like peeling off sunburn.


Step dos: Blend it. Blend it. Twist it. Bop it.
Yes, that is a piece of bread.



Step three: Clean up the Enormous Mess.



But then you get to eat it. Mmmm... tomato bliss.

O for Directional Competence!

So, Ellyn and I drove home from a friend’s house last night at about 9:30. It was still twilight, and we could see the almost-full moon setting over the hill. Now, this friend lives near us. It’s easy to get to and from his house. There are no complicated twists, turns, or tricky bits.

We definitely got lost.

Somehow we ended up on a deserted, poorly lit, dirt road going down toward the river. Luckily for us, it twisted around and we ended up driving on a more familiar road. In the wrong direction, yes, but at least we knew where we were. This is a pretty normal situation for me. I am completely and utterly lost when it comes to directions. I need explicit directions (turn right on this street, left on this street after this landmark), and lots of practice before I can find my way anywhere. I am not a stupid person; I just can’t seem to go a week without getting lost. Even if I’m just trying to get home.

How did this happen?

I have become the student that I dread to have in class.

In technology class today, my group met in the back of the classroom. We were supposed to write a list of questions about poppers. Instead, we played with them and giggled. We shot them at each other, made jokes about teacher glares, and somehow a "kick me" sign ended up on someone's back. I missed all the directions entirely.

Yes, we're adults between the ages of 22 and 28.

I can't decide if this happened because we're immature, understimulated, or overstimulated.

Dear Body,

This is Mind. I know it's been a little while since we've had a formal discussion. I'm glad our relationship is going so smoothly. I really appreciate our teamwork especially in this whole jogging endeavor. After that first grueling week during which I forced you to do things that you weren't used to, and you let me know about it, we've been doing alright. However, there is one little matter that I'm still upset about. Right Clavicle, what the heck? Jogging barely touches you! If Shins or Calves or Quads or even Abs complain and lash out violently I understand. They're under a lot of pressure and even the calmest of us has a breaking point. But you, Right Clavicle, why are you so angry? Let's have it out, once and for all. In TeacherSpeak, See Me After Class (SMAC).

Love,
Mind.

I love summer

The weather forecast for today is (word for word, I promise) "abundant sunshine, hot."

I love it!

After a grueling and productive Friday in the library, I managed to relax for the rest of the weekend. Yummy break-feast, watching basketball, church, going for a walk, Mexican food with the redhead's family... it was lovely.

But there was absolutely no reason for me to dream about having a conversation with Brad Pitt. We were just chatting, blah blah. It was a little strange. But who am I to complain?

discipline.

this is not a post about discipline. this is a post about how i am reading blogs instead of doing my homework. i have a paper to write. bedtime is in 40 minutes. i have written 2 sentences so far.

but tomorrow is my last day of class for the week

AND

the r.t. roomie is playing a show tomorrow night! yay! good music and social interaction all in one.

How could I forget the bug binoculars?

I spent yesterday afternoon sprawled out in our sunny backyard. I read my Bible, finished up my homework, wrote some poetry that had been ricocheting around, and watched bugs wander around our garden. It was blissful. I was also blessed enough to play zoo and ride a small child's bike around a park for a while. More bliss.

And we're back in the scholastic saddle again today! Hurrah! I've discovered that my attention span is approximately 15 minutes when I'm moderately well-rested and interested in the topic. That's not very long. Especially when classes are 4 hours long. At least the teachers are super fun.

the situation

Yay! I hereby cast off my hobo-blogger cloak of mystery and return to the land of the living. Here's what happened: I was insanely busy training new people at work, going to a wedding and related festivities, starting grad school, remembering how to do homework, and trying to sleep. You may not hear from me as often as in the past, but I'll try to write a little bit. It might be therapeutic for me. To get back in the groove (rut, anyone?) of writing, I'm phrasing it like my former 5 yr old.

this is my sad:

My dad's birthday always hits me harder than I anticipate.

I become sullen and snappy when I realize that stress is making me needy.

Because I'm sullen, snappy, and needy I assume that no one wants to be around me and I become even more sullen, snappy, and needy.

this is my happy:

I am feeling pretty satisfied that my Monday homework is mostly finished.

I made some friends this week.

I went jogging (gasp! it's true) three times.

the adventure of the haunted cemetery

So, a certain Anonymous Commenter and I were hanging out on Saturday, and we happened to drive past a cemetery. Now this cemetery is small, fairly well-kept, and out of the way. However, it features an intriguing stone grotto complete with a tower on the top of a hill. I've wanted to go there since the first time I saw it, so we stopped. At the bottom of the hill is a handpainted sign that says "Rattlesnakes." Whatever. There are rattlesnakes around here if someone is foolish enough to go poking in holes in abandoned hillsides. We'd be fine.

We walked about halfway up the hill, Mr. A-C ahead of me by a few feet, when I saw this: I said in a calm and firm voice, "Mister Anonymous Commentator," and started running down the hill. When he turned around and said, "what?" I replied, "umm... there's a snake." He yelled and ran down the path a few yards. Then, out of some sort of masculine curiosity, turned back to get a closer look. That's when he found the OTHER one. We left in a hurry. Sandles aren't conducive to rattlesnake hunting.

Now, of course, my curiosity is piqued. Why are the rattlesnakes guarding the grotto? Is there some sort of treasure or mystery there? I need to get me some cowboy boots and a shotgun.

One Slighty Scandalous Story, Two Bits of News, and One Weekend Plan

Today's awkward moment: It was really warm this morning, so I wore my aforementioned floofy black skirt. As I was leaving work, I put my Weekend section of the paper, my notebook, and jacket in my left arm, and my coffee mug and purse in my right. It was still warm out, but there was a blustery wind. The second I left the building, the downtown wind definitely sent my skirt flying up around my waist, scandalous-style. My first reaction was to drop everything I was holding and scrunch down, clutching my skirt around me. My second reaction was to praise the Lord Jesus I wore sensible, full-coverage undies today. I went inside, repositioned everything in my left arm, and walked the four blocks (long blocks) to my car, desperately holding my skirt with my right hand, blushing furiously, and making absolutely no eye contact with anyone whatsoever. I am still slightly embarrassed, as I try my darndest to keep my Gulgy Butt well-hidden.

Miscellaneous news: I passed my Spanish test. I didn't do great, but I passed. Yay! No more tests! At least for now.

Funny conversations: My small client was talking today about boyfriends. I told her she had to be 18 before she got one. She asked me if I would rather have a boyfriend or a husband. I told her a husband, and she said, "Humph! Well I want a boyfriend and you do too. And if you don't like your boyfriend, THEN you get a husband. Why aren't you getting a husband?"

Enough of that. It's time for me to go admire my ridiculously talented roommate's portfolio downtown! Hurray for ridiculously talented roommates (of which I have many)!

my addiction.

i feel like this today.


we had some Quality Roommate Time last night, made all the better by ice cream and a funny movie. but, alas, it came at the cost of a post 12 am bedtime (again!), and i am feeling groggy. part of the grogginess comes from being tired, but most of it is a result of Not Having Had Time to Make My Coffee. guh. my brain is rolling around inside my skull.

so i bought some.

will feel better soon.

weekbeginning

I am currently alone in the archives (again), taking my break by eating a yogurt and reminiscing about the weekend. I love long ones. Some highlights include but are not limited to:

- Scattergories Discovered. I'd never played before. It's really fun.
- Pulling copious amounts of weeds and wearing 2 armfuls of bandaids after I accidentally discovered the thorn bush.
- This rainbow: and additional laughter from a tired 10 hours of driving.
- Breakfeast with the roomies
- Coffee with the soon-to-be Dearly Departed Jeni...
- Praying at Group.

seen in today's paper

I think all of you know I am a serious advocate of literacy. It is a basic skill necessary for a decent quality of life in both the professional and social sectors. That said, I may now make fun of this ad in the paper:


They may want to reconsider their advertising medium. Perhaps an auditory ad would communicate their message better, considering their demographic Can't Read.

Otherwise, I have 14 minutes left of being Alone in the Archives (if that isn't a fabulous title of a mystery story, i don't know what is). My former coworker came by and rescued me for a little while and let me hold her baby. [insert sigh of contentment here]. And now I'm torn between writing a story about my friend's neighbor lady who told us stories about her life for a couple hours last night and writing a mystery based in the photo archives (probably da vinci code-esque). What to do, what to do...

the night shift

In lieu of writing about the parking tickets (yes, plural. I'm not going to talk about it) I received yesterday, I'm going to write about the Spanish fun I had at work!

I came in last night to the paper and translated a Spanish article for the editors. It was so much fun. It helped that there were only a couple words I didn't know, and that newspaper articles in general aim for a 5th grade reading level. But the editors were nice and funny, AND I got paid double salary! Now I can pay for my tickets!

On a bittersweet note, Jeni has a new blog. It is pretty cool. I like the colors. But it means she and Matt are leaving soon. Gah. Can't talk about that right now either.

I still haven't gotten used to...

Ok, I'm transitioning out of my foster kid job in a few weeks, which has me thinking about my jobs in general. In spite of the fact I've been working here for a while, there are still a few things that catch me off-guard.

Like how to respond when dads try to flirt with me in the park. Umm... yeah. Actually, this kid is not my daughter. And even though your left hand is conspicuously naked, I'm not really interested. Sorry.

Or how to look at microfilm for more than 10 minutes without feeling nauseated.

Or how to handle a kid running away and/or getting pregnant.

Or how to deal with customers who think I can do things I am not allowed to do. I promise I'm not just being a jerk. My boss told me flat out I'm not allowed to do that. Sorry.

There are some things I feel I've mastered: persuading small children to use kleenexes instead of picking their noses, figuring out what time we need to leave where to get to x location at x time, looking busy on computers, photocopying with speed and precision.

Oh well. I can stop procrastinating at work now... my shift is up! Lunch!

calling all psychiatrists

Ok, so I had this dream last night that is kind of funny. Or maybe I just think it's funny. Whatever. I'm in a very very small classroom with maybe ten other people and we're taking a standardized Spanish test. The test booklet is about 40 pages thick. I do page one, and just as I'm turning the page everyone else turns in their tests and leaves. As I finish page two, the teacher (my Spanish teacher from high school) says, "Time's up, Mary! Turn it in!" And I start crying. I still have 38 pages to go! I failed the test! I'm so upset that my teacher gives me three sandwiches to cheer me up. Sourdough bread with ketchup and mayonnaise gushing out between the slices. I try a bite. It's about as gross as it sounds (and looks). I'm still crying. Then I flip through the rest of the test and it turns out that the test was only 2 pages long after all! The following pages are a Scholastic Book order form.

I woke up with a POUNDING HEADACHE.

What does it all mean?

on being sensitive

Sometimes I take things personally. I actually don't know how not to take things personally. In part, that may be due to my being a Generally Passionate Person. In other (greater?) part, it is probably pride and ego.

For example, yesterday someone inadvertently hurt my feelings. It was stupid. I knew at the time that no offense was meant, but there was a chance - one little lowercase c chance - that a Shove Off and Leave Me Alone was disguised as an innocent comment. So, I took it personally and assumed the worst. It was stupid. Then I promptly got embarrassed for being so silly, which, of course, made it worse.

And the whole situation reminded me of Lewis, I think in Mere Christianity. He writes that we like to think that we are the people we act like when everything is going well. I like to think that I am joyful and peaceful and encouraging because I have a pretty easy time being those things when life is great. When I am tired, hungry, grieving, or otherwise just plain cranky, I blame what I become on those externals. It's not Me, Mary, who is selfish, prideful, vain, critical, and spiteful. It's just because I'm hungry, or tired, or whatever. But Lewis calls me out (as he usually does) and reminds me that who I really am comes out in moments of trial. And I am still really far from who I want to be. What I call being sensitive is actually just being proud. Where I need to be sensitive is for others' sake. I need to be more sensitive to the pain, loneliness, needs, and beauty of others and not to imagined slights.

All in all, it was a humbling day.

The Freestyle Charleston Fiasco

This morning as I was persuing the paper at work to gather my Friday Night Options, I saw there would be a Big Band playing as a charity function. Sweet! Giving money to a worthy cause and listening to amazing jazz/swing? What more could a girl ask for? So I called up my dance instructor, Janie, from last year and invited her too. Ellyn and I met up with her and sat in amazing second row seats (this is at the Episcopalian Cathedral, if I forgot to mention it).

The band was way fun. They had great energy and were just GOOD. About four songs into the first half, Janie leans over and grabs my hand, "Wanna Lindy?" Here's my Lindyhop info link (the mac is acting up): http://www.savoystyle.com/history.html.

I don't know how many of you know me well enough to know that I never (ever) turn down dance invitations. So, we shimmied on over to a corner and started dancing. It was a little embarrassing - I think like 50 people could see us.

Then a couple songs later, I found myself lindyhopping in the corner again and grinning like an idiot. I really like to lindy. It's like joy personified in dance. The singer/MC then called us out in front. Yeah. Let that sink in a moment. Luckily, I only messed up HUGELY near the end of the song.

Dancing is maybe the only thing I can do without thinking of anything else. My mind blanks out and I just DANCE. Not particularly well, mind you. I just go. This turned out to be an unfortunate trait later in the evening, when Janie grabbed me, shouted "FREESTYLE CHARLESTON!", and pulled me up in front of the Whole Room. I just went. I'm pretty bad at estimating numbers, but the room was definitely full. Hundreds of people, mostly over the age of 65, watched me trip all over Janie's feet, double over in laughing embarrassment, and generally Not Know What I Was Doing.

Overall, a moderately successful evening if I think in terms of Level of Entertainment for the Viewers. If I can make people laugh, I'm doing ok. But it was cute how many little old ladies came up afterward to talk to me. They were pretty sweet.

And Ellyn dances an amazing Rumba.

man-skirts revisited

I have good news, everyone. I spotted a man in an utility-kilt today. One small step for man...

this week's quote winners!

Best pick-up line (courtesy of Ellyn): "I think you stood in front of me once."

Most heart-breaking: "When am I going to be your kid?"

men

As the temperature has soared to a high of 93 lovely degrees farenheit for the last three days, I have been pensating a little on clothing. A little on modesty (which I will not discuss now), but mostly on staying cool in my summer skirts. My favorite one is a swooshy, lightweight black skirt that is the single most comfortable item of clothing I own. It gets a little tricky occasionally walking downtown when the swoosh gets carried away by strong winds. But that's a rarity.

Skirts are, hands down, the coolest thing one can wear in hot temperatures. And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

When we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii, our guide was wearing a skirt. He was from New Zealand, and wore the traditional costume. A nice, strait, brown skirt. It did not make him effeminate. At all.

Neither did the skirt-like costumes worn by the other men at the Center. Quite the contrary, in fact. Please, take a moment to peruse the website. Here are some of the manly skirts I captured:



And then, holy cow, when they started dancing, it was like masculinity personified. All the stomping and rhythm and dance-fighting was 872 times more virile than any football game, drag race, or spitting contest. So why on earth are mainland American men afraid to wear skirts, much less terrified to dance? It's both practical and sexy. Can you get a better combination?

troll hair swooshing?

I realized yesterday that I am on the verge of a hobo-blogger label. Gasp!

Here's a rundown of the week:

Most fun: Troll Hair Swooshing and Night Troll Prowling

Best pick-up line (yes, said in seriousness to me): "Are you as nice as you look?"

Nicest thing someone said: "I just love being around you. Sometimes I feel guilty for using you for my happiness." Thanks.

Least fun: Being stressed-to-tears because my time set aside for rest turned... not restful.

Dumbest pick-up line: "Uh, you're gonna come back to see me, right?"

More fun: Writing poetry and trying on vintage dresses and hats.

Gasp-erific fun: The end of The Office last night! Gah!

best game ever

We played this last night:


In one foul swoop, it makes me realize I have been mentally sleeping through my Morning Bible Time for the last 8 years while simulateously creating an atmosphere of tense competition as the players battle the urge to equate holiness and trivia.

Aaaahhh.

But at least it has a "beautifully lithographed" board to calm us down:

I need to study up on my OT. And NT. And Prophets, Wisdom, Geography, etc.
Today's study: the Egyptian plagues.
1. Blood
2. Frogs
3. Gnats
4. Flies
5. Livestock
6. Boils
7. Hail
8. Locusts
9. Darkness
10. Death to firstborn children.

Ok, here's the acronym to study: Beleaguered Fighting Gnomes Fail to Liberate Boldly Hostaged Lady Dancing Dwarves.

I'm ready. Bring on Round 2.