My strangest habit might be cutting off my split ends, one by one.

When the light's just right I can see them all come out like they're mocking me. It makes my hair look entirely ill, half-dead like a wig or a corpse's head. It's really ugly. So I cut them off. The really insidious thing about the dead ends is that they catch the healthy pieces up in tangles, which can make the healthy hair split in turn. So the deadness multiplies.

I usually stop cutting when someone takes the scissors away or when I'm tempted to take the blades and just chop off chunks. Today I didn't stop. I chopped. And just found more. My hair is lifeless. Even as I'm trying to cut off the dead parts, I wonder if there is anything salvageable here. Or if I should just give up entirely. It's all so dead that it can't possiby look healthy again.

So, the funny habit that usually soothes me just made me feel grossly inadequate. Funny how little things can irritate so much.