Hip Hip Hooray!

We made it to Edinburgh! Hosea is darling.

We are sleepy. More posts and pictures to follow (maybe).

Transportation: the Old Fashioned Way (sorta)

You know when your car is (still) in the shop, and you suddenly remember you have a dentist appointment? And that all of your friends are working or otherwise appointmented. But then you look online and see that it's only 2.7 miles to the dentist and you can cut through two parks on the way.

I'm going to walk there and run back! Yay! Exercise, parks, fresh air, and it's above freezing!

Respite!

One hour and eight minutes ago Christmas break began. I came home thinking, Man! I'm going to clean my room! After walking in the door, however, my legs decided they had had enough for the day and collapsed. So I'm sitting in the Comfy Blue Chair for a while until I can stand up again.

We went caroling today. I have Navidad Navidad Navidad Rock thoroughly stuck in my head. It was fun and bone-weary exhausting.

I will not set my alarm this week.

In one week, we're going to Scotland!

Love,
Mary

A Merry Christmas link

From the Holy Family.

Students

I encourage my students to doodle when they finish a test early. Sometimes it's really amusing. However, some of my third period boys like to draw doodles along a particular theme:



Yup. Death.

Sometmes I tell them to draw things I say in Spanish to check comprehension. We just learned ugly:





They're funny kids.

some news

The bad news: Ice can make your car inexplicably and tragically attracted to big poles.

The good news: It's snowing and pretty. I'm ok. Nothing was leaking/exploding/smoking, which the tow truck guy assured me was a good sign. Three people stopped to ask if I was ok. That was nice. One even almost got hit by another car that was spinning down the hill (I mean spinning literally). He had to jump out of the way before the car smashed into his truck. He's ok.

The lessons learned: Don't procrastinate snow tires. And don't drive on 14th.

Airing of Grievances

You know that little dragon-whisper that sneaks in sometimes and tells you, "Wow, you're trying So Hard, and you're still Not Good Enough." It's been plaguing me for the last few weeks. And I always underestimate how deep that not-good-enough wound is.

There was another loony mom last week. I don't want to talk about it besides saying that I have never before been spoken to so rudely and I would be a happy woman if she takes her spitefulness and immaturity far far away from me.

I have a cold.

I spent three days this week at school later than 5:30, one was about 6:45. That's a lot of working. And I still feel behind in grading, planning, organizing, and the PILE of miscellaneous paperwork that appears magically, as if summoned by aforementioned dragon.

No one ever thanks teachers.

I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark, even on good days.

I am an unstable crazy woman to Mystery Man. Luckily, he is patient and kind.

Sunday night blues

Sometimes on Sunday nights, I get a little loony. I don't know what I'm teaching tomorrow morning. I don't care. I need a hug. I eat some ice cream. I mope a little. And I procrastinate on the internet. Here's a sampling:

Merry Christmas, everybody. Love, Mary and Mystery Man

City Driving

Considering some of my friends' commuting experiences, my morning drive to the next city over is painless.

I usually get an adrenaline rush as I recklessly zoom in the left lane, passing cars like a crazy woman. The irony? I am zooming at 67 miles an hour. Sometimes less. The right lane chugs along between 50-60 mph, and the middle lane at EXACTLY 60. The left lane remains comparatively empty, making it easy for us young LocoDrivers to break the law.

Oh, Washington. I love you.

Saturday posting...

I just finished my very first hat!



Other exciting things: David took me to Across the Universe, and it's fun. I bought a shoe organizing rack and a pretty coat. It's sunny (pretty much).

Otherwise, this week kicked my butt. School left me totally wiped out every day. I stayed longer than 11 hours on Monday and Friday. I found myself, through a severe miscalculation, with an extra hour of unplanned class time. I have nightmares about things like that.

Marvelous Musings

Which Jane Austen heroine are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Catherine Morland You're Catherine Morland of Northanger Abbey! Innocent and good-hearted, you love to read gothic novels, the elements of which find their way into your daydreams. Catherine Morland 85% Elizabeth Bennet 75% Marianne Dashwood 70% Emma Woodhouse 70% Anne Elliot 60% Elinor Dashwood 60% Fanny Price 50%

High School Excitement

Today, I had a student come into class on time for once. I noticed him
a) because he was on time, and
b) because he was holding his face in his hands.

Something was wrong. As I walked over, his friends let him to the sink and I heard the chatter of students gleefully explaining what happened. Turns out, my sophomore student (Yes! He'll be driving soon!) pepper-sprayed himself in the face.

Himself.

In the face.

For $10.

He tried to refuse when I sent him to the nurse. He got pretty belligerent actually, but I persuaded him eventually ("Well, you can go yourself, or I can have someone come up and take you down."). The office called too, and asked if I needed the Sheriff and Deputy to come to my room (??). Luckily the "incident" did not happen in my room, and there was no weapon present.

The paramedics took him to the hospital.

My class was bananas for the rest of the period. This class is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! This class is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Important lessons learned: Pepper Spray counts as a weapon and is NOT allowed at school. Pepper Spray hurts really bad. More than $10 worth bad.

Halloween Party '07

Art Masterpieces Theme:

It took me a while to decide. I am pre-beheading and bearming of course.




We also had people dressed as Zac and Karli...

Rainbows... (not pictured)
The real and lovely Karli,
Van Gogh, the girl with the pearl earring, and a guy with an apple in front of his face... I didn't recognize that one.
and mountain climbers.

Oh, and one really attractive and charming cowboy.

The best thing about...

Friday afternoon: victoriously not giving in to Wheedling Student. No, my child, I will neither give you extra credit now to reward your previous laziness nor lie to your mom and say you have a different grade than you do.

Friday night: fabulous company that didn't mind me falling asleep at a play.

Saturday Shopping spree: Whale Wellington boots. And pain au chocolat.

ADD update

My three-day weekend was awesome! Highlights included running and walking in impossibly sunny fall weather and going on a SuperDate to a hockey game followed by Ella's Supper Club. Mmm... goalie fights and live jazz. We also finally had people over on Sunday and read a couple chapters of Narnia again, reviving old and fantastic traditions. I hope it keeps up.

This week has been really up and down. The twits in third period stole my whiteboard erasers again, and I suspect they hate me. But I let second period (one of my most difficult) give me a report card on how I'm doing, and I got some really good feedback (really kind words + really constructive ways to get better).

It's raining really hard right now.

But it's almost the weekend again!

Three

Day Weekend.

little notes

It was 77 degrees today. Utterly blissful. I sat outside and sweat with some iced tea for a while.

I'm eating apple pie for dinner. A la mode.

Cold virus #2, week #5. At this rate, I'll be immune to Everything in 3 years.

I told Mr. Paper Airplane to sit down or get out today. He chose to sit down and be good for the rest of class. It was very gratifying.

I got an email today asking about my curriculum. I laughed a little bit. The teacher I'm replacing took it with her. Two states away. I got it last week. Haven't really had a chance to look at it.

I love pomegranate tea.

I don't like being alone in a big house.

Any ideas to explain my wound?

Real story: accidental hand swipe
Fake stories: squirrel attack, falling off a cliff, knife fight.

Parent Conferences: therapy blogging

Dear Cuckoo Mom,

My naivete surfaced immediately, as I assumed that parents of bright, high-achieving, socially competent and respectful young men were a) sane and b) not likely to cause unnecessary trouble. Silly me. Thank you for taking the time to cure me of my ignorance.

Upon reflection, I have come to a few interesting conclusions about you, your son, and me. Let's start with me. I'll save your baby boy for last just to keep you reading.

While I am an emotional and passionate person, in my professional capacity I act sensibly. Your darling Mattykins and his bestest buddy (of paper airplane throwing fame) turned in quizzes with the Exact Same Answers. The Exact Same Mistakes. Unusual Mistakes. They were sitting next to each other. So I am left with one test for two students. Until I know whose test it is, they get zeros. It will take 5 minutes to make up. I am not necessarily accusing your Little Muffin of cheating. I will not retract the zero until I know the skill level of both students. Sorry. All teachers who care about students do this. I work my tail off so those kids learn. It is not in your best interest to make me cry and lose sleep over this. I need sanity and sleep to do my best work.

You, madam, are nuts. I understand you don't like that "someone is accusing your son of cheating" and "he is a young man of the highest integrity" and "you are furious at the principle of the matter" and "this B+ is the lowest grade he's gotten in four years." I was a scrupulous student as well. However, this is his MIDQUARTER grade that NO ONE will EVER SEE AGAIN. Calm down. I would recommend deciding on things that are really important to be raging mad about, and staying calm about things that are less important. For your health, ma'am.

I will extend the greatest compassion to your son because I have seen from your behavior that he does not receive any at home. If you fly into a rage in which you are shaking with fury because of a 9 point quiz that is easily retaken, I am terrified to think of the other expectations you put on your son. If he cheated, by all means be disappointed. But he will make mistakes. So will you. It's best he makes them in my class because I'm not likely to have him suspended and give him an F in the course. You may even consider letting the young man take responsibility for himself. He is smart. He is considerate. He can do it.

Sincerely,
New Teacher

The Original Bloods

The staff room at lunch time is usually somewhat amusing. Today, it was outrageous. One teacher mentioned that a student was acting like the devil.

I had to clarify.

Me: Do you mean he was misbehaving? Or was he pretending to be Satan?
Teacher: Oh, he was pretending to be Satan.
Other teacher: Why can't our kids pretend to be Jesus? He did way cooler things AND it would be less annoying.
Teacher: But then he'd have to do that weird hand thing.
Other teacher: Oh that was just his gang sign. They were the original bloods.

And the jokes went on. What can you come up with?

October

I gave my babies a new seating chart, desk arrangement, and beginning-of-class-thing-to-say.

I've gotten to the point where I don't actually remember most of my day when I get home. I know I attempted to teach something with far less planning than it required. Oh well. At least I don't think I cried or hurt anybody. I still mostly have fun (I think). Am still trying to incorporate this into my lessons.

Back to School... for now

These are my happies:

Apparently my sub was commendably cranky, and even my 2nd period hellions were glad to see me. Thanks, sub!

I got to hear the Days of the Week song (to the tune of Frere Jaques) sung in a 3-way round, and actually cried I was laughing so hard. It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. Ever. And I lost it.

Considering the musical talents of my class, I'm considering assigning a music video for first year students.

Mystery Man made me dinner for the third (or fourth??) night in a row.

These are my sads:

My throat hurts pretty bad. It hurts to talk, yawn, swallow, or just sit there. Good thing I'm a teacher and actually never stop talking.

I was informed today that I will be attending a conference for first year teachers. The conference is tomorrow. I was at school until almost 6 p.m. writing sub plans (again). Skipping school is way more work that it's worth.

This is what I'm doing:

I'm drinking some tea. And thinking about my nana. Because no one throws a party like my nana's tea party.

Stuck in my head:

A Sunday School Song

You know the lions they can eat my body,
but they can't swallow my soul
no no
They keep on tryin' to crash my party,
but they can't take control

Sick Day #1

I woke up barfing.

I thought, 'It'll pass. I'll just get dressed and not eat or drink anything - that way I can't throw up! Brilliant!'

Then I couldn't really walk because I was so dizzy.

I went in anyway. Changed my mind. Made sub plans. Came home.

Still dizzy. No barfies anymore. Granted, I haven't eaten a heck of a lot.

And I'm feeling SO GUILTY. I could have made it! I didn't actually throw up after this morning, and I could have just sat down if I got dizzy. Second period is going to eat the poor sub alive because they're heinous twits. No one's going to learn anything and we'll all be behind. Even though I've had three kids out with the flu, that doesn't mean I have it too. I'm just weak. And lazy.

So that's sick day #1. I'm hoping to read A Thousand Splendid Suns or do something productive for school or something. Bah.

The up side: I called Mystery Man to see if I could watch TV on his couch while he's at work (we don't have a tv), and I not only got the TV, but a fuzzy bathrobe and a can of soup with my name on it (literally). Swoony sigh.

BIG NEWS!

David Bisbal got a haircut!

Before:


After:



Sigh. I once aspired to be a bikini dancer for Senor Bisbal (a la Oye el Boom), but alas! The dying dreams of youth!

And if you're into it, you should watch the entire Torre de Babel (reggaeton mix) video if only for his expression at the very end. I know he has fans reading this blog - you know who you are, Christina.

Oh, children.

That's what I say when they're being naughty. "Oh, children." Because they're acting like children.

Yesterday I had two students acting out a skit while I read it. I promise the skit was perfectly innocuous. They don't KNOW enough Spanish for anything else. But the male actor decided to make an inappropriate gesture. The entire class erupted in someone-just-did-something-related-to-sex laughter. To be honest, I was putting my camera down and missed it altogether. I pretended. I asked the actors to sit down and walked to the front. Sadly and seriously I said, "Class?" They responded (as I'm trying to train them), "Si." I said, "Raise your right hand. Now, repeat after me: I solomnly swear.... I will always.... be appropriate.... in Spanish class.... because I like my teacher.... and I do not want.... her to die of shame... because she is very impressionable."

It seemed to work for now. I got a panicked and heartfelt apology after class.

Then, to make the Thursday complete, we had open house. So I was at work for 13 hours, the final 3 fielding questions like, "This is your first year teaching, isn't it sweetie?"

Welcome, Hosea Bruce!

You have been eagerly awaited and much prayed for from around the world. Your parents are amazing and you are surprisingly good-looking for a newborn. Hurray!

Week One

Sorry this wasn't posted sooner - blogger was not cooperating.

Week One was fabulous.

Fabulous.

I love teaching. My students are mostly just really fun and excited (which may change in a week or two), and I genuinely enjoy teaching them! Hurray!

I'm absolutely exhausted, though. Every day I've come home about to collapse and famished. That first night I came home and cried myself to sleep - not for sadness, just because I was so tired and emotional. It's been better since.

I'm off to a retreat now, so I'll post more later.

Ack!

It's the first day of school! I've been dreaming about this day!

(well, nightmares, anyway)

I'm off in my new dress to form young minds. 150 of them. I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully I don't fall down dead from exhaustion (my body woke up at 2:08 a.m. and stayed mostly awake for 3 hours), vomit, or cry.

Little girl, I say to you, get up.

I believe that prayer is effective. I believe that God always hears, always answers, always moves in the hearts of his children. Sometimes God Speaks.

Maybe he always speaks, and only sometimes I hear.

Sometimes his voice is so loud and unexpectedly clear that I'm startled. Overwhelmed. Convicted. Revived from a stupor.

I don't know. Are YOU ready for school?

The YAY list:

- My classroom is set up.
- My coworkers are amazing.
- I don't have to ask permission from the department head to make copies on colored paper.
- I have windows.
- There is a SmartBoard in my classroom.

The HMM-I-WONDER-HOW-THIS-WILL-TURN-OUT list:

- I have 35 students (mostly freshmen) in my 6th period class.
- I don't have a computer yet.
- There are some wires hanging from the ceiling still (it's a new building).
- I daily battle a nauseating panic.
- I fake it and smile real big a lot.

What breed of lunatic

... have I joined that enjoys meetings at 7 a.m. during the summer? We only have a week and a half left, everyone! Love your sleepy mornings! Appreciate your cup of tea and murder mystery until 10 a.m.! Stay out until midnight or (GASP!) later!

New and Exciting

Check out my updated links list!

Are there any other blogs out there I should know about?

Highlights:

Seeing friends and family packed into the room to support and love the couple (the outdoor ceremony was rained and fifty-five-degreed all the way inside the mansion).

An impromtu dance party in the bridal room before the wedding to calm nerves.

The official dance party, in which we the bridesmaids and bride danced a choreographed number for Jeff.

Not tripping. Not even once.

Post Vacation (or Vacation Post, depending)

After much relaxing in the Wild North Woods, blissful time with Mystery Man and Various Family, two days with my friend Harry Potter, a trip to the zoo, an excursion to see Wicked the musical, and some wild berry picking, I am back.

Getting ready for and having nightmares about the first day of school (September 5th).

Until that fateful day, I am also preparing for Natalie and Jeff's wedding on Sunday! Hurray! The bachelorette party takes place in part at our house and I get to do some serious cooking. Spinach Puffs here I come!

Summer Update

Dear Andrew,

You're right. I apologize for being a hobo-blogger. I have no excuses. Please forgive me.


Here is a Brief Bulleted Bulletin of the happenings of summer thus far in reverse chronological order:

Today: I packed my bags to go on a nice long vacation with my mom. Mystery Man is joining us for a week at the island, my brother is joining us for the second week, then we're on our own to visit family in Wisconsin and Chicago. I'll be gone for about a month. Internet access will be sporadic if anthing, but I'll try. :) There is also still a small person attacking my throat with a million sharp knives.

Yesterday: I finished up my Brain-Compatible Learning Strategies class with a bang. We poked at a brain, talked about pregnancy, and our teacher made us swear an oath to learn how to juggle. She said, "Juggling and music are like Disneyland for the brain!" Still feeling very ill, and now able to SEE the spots on my own tonsils, I talked to Dr. Mystery Man's Dad and got a super-prescription.

Some time last week: Went to two meetings at my new district office, got a tour of the new school building, signed my contract. I get My Own classroom. That is Unheard Of for first years. I don't have to share. I'm right next to the other modern language teachers and the staff bathroom. I have windows. I have a SMART BOARD!

4th of July: Watched the ever-talented Mystery Man play drums at the local Eagles facility. This sign was at the bar:

A couple weekends ago: Mystery Man and I went to Jess's wedding! It was a little strange - there were about 20 people and half a dozen teachers from my high school class (of 48 total). It was like a high school dance all over again. Luckily, I really enjoyed high school dances and had a marvelous time. And my Jessie is married now! Weird! Dropping like flies. We also had lunch with my aunt near the waterfront and explored the super-low tide. We found starfish, sea anenomes (see picture, sorry if spelling is wrong) , an eel, crabs, and bright green fish.

And otherwise I'm sleeping off my illness, reading, and spending time with people I like.

Hurray!

I am now officially a Spanish teacher. I received a phone call this morning from the principal of my new school, which for anonymity's sake will have to remain private. It's a smaller school (about 800) on the westerly side of the valley. Freed from the chains fo unemployment, I even get benefits. And a paycheck. Wonder of wonders!

Hip Hip Hurray!

Hip Hip Hurray!

Hip Hip Hurray!

Recovery

This is the second morning I have not had to get up to do anything. Anything at all. I am still, at 10:33 a.m., in my pj's sipping coffee. I read about half a murder mystery this morning (thanks, Ellyn!). I may or may not do some work for my final "professional discussion" on Friday. I do have a To Do list, though. I haven't quite been able to escape from those. Here it is:

To Do:

Go for a run.
Prepare for interview tomorrow.
Dinner with friends.

In the meantime, I've been able to ponder such mysteries as: Why do I love it when green beans squeak when I chew them, but I can't stand the squishiness of tomatoes or the foamy flesh of mushrooms? Should I make a pair of earrings with green beads or black beads? What kind of bug is that? If no one writes about or posts pictures of the Andrew and Bianca wedding soon, who shall I yell at first?

You know. Deep things.

First Interview

"Clothes and courage have much to do with each other." - Sara Jeannette Duncan (writer, feminist, political activist)

I'll hear tonight. I'm guessing no - rumor has it they know who they're hiring (and it's not me), but it was good practice, I guess.

UPDATE: Well, I did not get the job, and they did hire the teacher who has a bunch of experience. They had very positive feedback afterward though, and said I needed to apply if there was another opening. That's nice. Overall, it was a positive experience and I'm glad I did it.

TWS Checklist of Doom

TWS is our Teacher Work Sample (the college name for our Master's Thesis). It consists of 11 documents, and a running appendix, glossary, and reference page. My "final sign off" (ha ha) is at 2:30. It's 12:27.

TWS 1 - done
TWS 2 - done
TWS 3 - done, 1:45
TWS 4 - done
TWS 5 - done
TWS 6 - done, 1:45
TWS 7 - done, 1:45
TWS 8 - done
TWS 9 - done
TWS 10 - done
TWS 11 - done

Appendix - done, 1:45
Works cited - done, 1:45
Definition of terms

Dividers

Cover sheet

Formatting

How to Frustrate Your Students: 5 Easy Steps

Step 1: Assign your students a 200 page equivalent to a Master's thesis. No problem. We'll do it in chunks. This part is fine.

Step 2: Repeatedly tell your students, "This whole document is due on June 8."

Step 3: Make a variety of handouts that all state, "this whole document is due on June 8."

Step 4: On Monday, June 4, inform your students that (ha ha) they have today and tomorrow to sign up for a final review and turning-in-of-the-document ceremony.

Step 5: Watch them cry.

Friday Night

Here I am. Another Friday night, and I am writing (another) paper due at midnight. This is a silly pattern, but it's soon to end. This is the second-to-last paper I have to write. Then I merely edit away and produce a 200 page document showing off my ability to use educationese to describe my teaching abilities. But I have a meeting at 6 with one of my favorite classmates to plan a presentation... that'll be fun. And then I can finish my paper! Yay!

Meanwhile, a sparrow just crashed into our living room window. I think it's ok. I went out to check on it, and it flew into the tree. it's still sitting there. I told it to rest up and relax for a while. Yes, sometimes I talk to birds. Usually when I'm writing papers on Friday nights.

I get to go to the river with my cute neighbor friend tomorrow. I think I like Mystery Man as a pseudonym better - makes him sound more like the superhero he is. I am considering not bringing any homework at all. We'll see. I'll probably freak out at the last minute and bring a bunch of stuff.

Oh, minor detail - I also walked at graduation last weekend. Here's a picture of me and my beautiful friend (who, sadly, is now in Tennessee).

Pictoral Representation

of my week:



Hence my hobo-blogging. Sorry. If you could send up prayers that I'll get a job soon, I would appreciate it. Beyond that I'm pretty sure I don't want to talk about it yet.

Procrastinating

I have a research paper due at midnight tonight.

I'm currently watching videos on the National Geographic website.

The paper is still a figment of my imagination.

Favorite Student Quote

Seen in the vocab sentence section:

"Miss Mary's pedagogical is good."

Not that good apparently, but thanks.

this one's for jeni!

I'm considering taking a course in Biblical Hebrew. Just for giggles. I'll let you know how the first one goes.

UPDATE: It's a no go. I have night class some Thursdays.

how my students were cute today

I don't usually refer to my students as cute. Twits, stinkers, children, and funny... yes. Cute... nor so much. Today I was observed by the English Department Head, and the second the students felt his imposing presence enter the room, an eerie and beautiful hush fell over the room.

The students bent their dear heads over their journals and scribbled furiously. Twice I heard two students begin to giggle and gossip, only to be shushed by their peers. Soft and menacing whispers of, "Can't you see she's being observed? Shut up! If you don't shut up I'll kick your ass!" were just barely heard. As I explained the assignment for the day, students asked, "Do you want those citations in MLA format?" Well, yes, but I'd be suprised if you knew what that even meant. You're showing off for me, aren't you? "For this assignment, can we write more than two pages if we want?" Um... of course? Always?

The second he left the room, they exploded in their usual chaos, but it was flattering that they cared so much. They're precious sometimes. I'll miss them.

being a teacher

i saw three of my students after school today. two were watching spiderman 3. that's fine

(although I may need to air a complaint about the movie right here. aside from cheesiness, aside from it feeling way too long, even. moral of the story: never communicate with your significant other, and all your problems will just melt away. oh, that time you hit me? or kissed that other girl? or only could talk about yourself? i know you didn't mean it. we don't need to talk about it. i just love you so much. don't talk about anything important = healing and love. or the other moral: no matter who i murder, if you would just understand my motives, you would know what a good person i am inside). Rant's over. Back to students.

the third was getting arrested on the side of the road.

disconnected thoughts

I have one more week of student teaching left. I just started to really enjoy it like a month ago, and am not looking forward to taking more classes myself. I'm going to miss my kids. And teaching itself. And being around 150+ people every day. And being constantly stimulated.

The body's still sick, but the mind is fine.

I like spring a lot. Even the rainy days have been ok - the rain feels healthy and full instead of icy and menacing.

I've been reading "The Man in the Brown Suit" by Agatha Christie before bed. It's so funny. I'm drawn into the mystery of it, while laughing at the archaic portrayal of the young female protagonist. It's somewhat ahead of its time, but she's a little too swoony and silly for my taste. But it's sensational, with Elizabeth Peter's style rakish heroes, an exotic setting (what is now known as Zimbabwe), kidnappings, and master criminals.

Mystery Man Gush of the Day: He made the sick girl soup for dinner, and was patient with her germ-induced crankiness and falling asleep at 7:00 p.m.

should we name her?

All of you probably have met my internal critic. She's harsh. I'm too this, never enough that. Never ever good enough. She manifested her snide presence in excess today. I woke up at 1:24 a.m. to my throat actually on fire. Burning. The two tall glasses of water were completely ineffectual, and the ole throat remained in a state of raw, shredded pain. Remains, actually, in the present tense. Talking hurts, and even when I'm not in front of the classroom talking at the students, I'm usually telling them to shut up (never using those words, though). :) So, I stayed home sick.

And feel guilt. Lots of guilt.

Here's what the aforementioned critic sounds like: "You're such a pansy. What weak excuse for a teacher stays home because of a sore throat? You know you just stayed home because it's sunny and nice outside. You're never going to cut it as a real teacher. You're just not good enough. Or strong enough. Here you are sitting outside reading. Oh yeah - "resting", huh? You're never going to get a job. No one even likes you. Your friends don't stay home sick. It's just you. Because you're weak and incompetant. Oh, and you're fat."

So I was trying to be metacognitive and figure out where this voice came from. And then I distinctly heard my dad's voice beating down on himself. He never thought he was good enough, and vocalized it frequently. Apparently it's a learned behavior. And a bad habit. That I need to break long before I ever have children, if ever that day comes. It's hard enough to focus on, you know, eternal things and serving others. Add to that general human difficulty this Voice that insists I think about myself and assume worthlessness and judgment from others.

Dream

I had an alarming dream. It was a naked dream, in which I was looking for various friends, but whenever I found them I had to hide because I wasn't wearing any clothes. Finally I found a towel. Then, I looked out the window (I was on the second or third floor) only to see an infestation of marmots! Thousands of them! Scurrying around outside.

?

Photo of the day:

Mystery Man Information for ye pestering inquiring minds may come sporadically. First, candid photo:



Yup. I know.

perching on the edge of a porpoise

Sometimes my students' spelling mistakes are amusing. One student in particular seems to have a subconscious obsession with marine life.

One of her love poems is entitled "Self fish."

In another poem, she writes, "My sole cries" blah blah blah.

Makes me giggle.

Friday Relaxing & Reminiscing

As I was relaxing in the sunshine, gazing up at the chickadees in our front yard tree, I was reminded of being pooped on by a baboon.

True story (both the reminding and the poo).

I then realized that I stopped writing about Malawi without sharing a heck of a lot. I've been known to talk for at least an hour straight or show all 800 of my pictures (thanks, David) to unsuspecting inquirers. But not here. And wondering if I would be pooped on by a little bird brought me back to that fateful night under the baobab tree and irritated, loose-boweled baboons.

Here's Mary's Zambian Safari

After living next to and working in the midst of severe poverty for three weeks, Nichole and I joined a team of about a dozen missionaries on a safari in Zambia. We were greeted at the Kafuntu Lodge with glasses of cold juice, our own huts with porches and bathrooms, and four-course dinners. It was a little shock.

The rainy season keeps tourists away and makes animal watching a little risky. The Jurrasic Park-style vegetation is easy to hide in, and animals don't like rain either. However, we happened to hit the jackpot. The weather was rainy in the mornings (we were soaked through), but sunny and hot in the afternoons. We saw everything. Everything.

The most unusual things we saw were the very rare African Wild Dogs. We ran into a pack of thirteen dogs taking naps twice. The first time our guide Mayem was so surprised to see them (they are very rare) that we stayed and watched them for 20 minutes. We also saw a warthog family twice. Leopards, hyenas, a miniature owl, and a python were also on the Oh! I Didn't Expect to See That List.

We also ran into hippos (dead and alive), zebras, giraffes, elephants, baboons, and a few lionesses. The baboon poop shower took place on a night safari. One of the land cruisers got stuck in the mud under a baobab tree, and while the other vehicle tried to tow it out, the baboons sleeping in the tree became upset. And pooped on the lot of us. Seeing the lionesses guarding a hippo they killed was also amazing. They are so powerful and beautiful and frightening in the way that you can only admire. We were really really close to them. THe thought crossed my mind that I would die right there. But I only really feared for my life once - far away from lions. There was a group of young male elephants hanging out in the park. Elephant males usually enter musth (take a guess. I don't feel like explaining it) one at a time, otherwise their hormones are so out of control that they fight each other or anything near them. We happened to run into two male elephants fighting. In the road immediately in front of us. I can't put the scene into words. It was terrifying, and I was sure at any moment they would either just trip over us or turn on us.

[tik-uhl-lish-uhs]

I think I accidentally made up a fun new word.

Ready?

Ticklishest (adj.): The most ticklish part. My feet are my ticklishest part.

Now, this may not sound as cool as you thought because you're pronouncing it incorrectlty. It should almost rhyme with Bootylicious.

[tik-uhl-lish-uhs]

Spring Break Summary

Brain-Candy Books Read: only 3. I recommend "Death of a Nationalist" for a fun murder mystery read.

Days in Seattle: 4

Minutes spent pacing the airport awaiting boyfriend's (late) plane: 47

Things crossed off to-do list: 3 of 10... oops

Days spent lounging in blissful sunshine: 2

Evenings eating an actual dinner: 8

Mornings I woke up before my alarm: 8

Days I didn't check my school email: 6 ... in a row

Days I exercised: 3 !! yay! back on track

Movies seen: 1 (TMNT)

Haircuts: 1 (a success the first time)

Now, while I feel pretty relaxed and happy, I'm a little anxious about school starting again tomorrow (see to-do list note). We should do spring break Spain style - have Holy Week off... then have a week or two of school... then have an April Fair for a week. That would be nice. Just imagine how peaceful the teachers would be.

Actually Going Crazy

When I'm stressed out, sometimes I can't really tell until Things start to happen.

Like losing my checkbook.

Then losing my wallet.

Then trying to put my contacts in this morning, only to discover the case was empty. I distinctly remember rinsing off the contacts last night - where did I put them? It took a few minutes, but I found them curled up dead in the corner of the sink. I rinsed them off thoroughly and dropped them both in the sink, recapping my contact case and putting it away empty.

I have since found my checkbook and wallet.

On a funny side, I yelled at 4th period today. It's a good idea to pretend to get mad before I actually feel angry. Then I can still speak sensibly and firmly without a) crying or b) losing my temper and hitting someone. Afterspeaking stern words for a couple minutes, I ended up saying something like this: "And if I hear one more snide remark or unkind comment about a classmate, I'll start writing down names and call home. If I have to, I will call each and every one of your parents tonight." That was a bluff. I didn't have time to call anyone. But they were the Best, Quietest, and Hardest Working I have seen them all year.

I saw a daffodil today.

Dispelling a Rumor

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not engaged. Last week, a couple people asked if I were. This week, no less than three people asked me at church if I had gotten engaged - they heard the rumor.

Happily dating, not engaged. Tell your friends. Sheesh, guys, I'd let you know.

more thicker than forget

In planning my poetry unit, I find myself running accross one big problem: planning progresses at a snail's pace because I enjoy reading the poetry so much. I lose track of time just reading and reading and reading.

Good poetry delights me. Here's the gem of the day:

love is more thicker than forget
e. e. cummings

love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky

picture on my desktop:

Now that my school rant's over...

Best quote of the day: "Why can't you grade on effort?" - a student who has not turned ANYTHING in this semester. What Effort?

Saddest part of the day: Leaving the airport sans boyfriend who is going to Europe for 2 weeks

Best part of the day: Coffee and muffins at 4 a.m.

Most unsettling: killing a spider In My Bed.

On the to do list: lesson plan for Spanish, find music for my Brief History of American Poetry lesson, write a letter to Amy (see links), wrap Ellyn's birthday present

How to Not Piss Off Your English Teacher While She Reads Your Essay: 10 Easy Steps

1. Spell the protagonist's name correctly.
2. Capitalize the protagonist's name, and indeed ALL names. You are JUNIORS. This is a 2nd grade skill.
3. Write in complete sentences. While fragments can be artistic.
4. If your teacher tells you to Avoid First Person At All Cost, please do so.
5. If your teacher tells you to have a thesis, spends an entire day teaching you how to write one and gives you time in class to write one, include it in your essay. It was not for fun.
6. If you teacher tells you in No Circumstance Whatever to use the phrase "In conclusion," avoid it. Please.
7. Turn it in on time. Or, if you turn it in late, whine thee not about the aforewarned late fee.
8. Turn it in at all. Really.
9. Avoid treating it like a book review. I don't care if you liked the book. I don't care if you'd recommend it to all your friends. Analyze the beast.
10. Two sentences do not constitute a paragraph. I said 8-10, children. I mean 8-10.

Victories and Fails

Victory: Jorge turned in an essay today

Fail: Only 13 of my 50 students turned in essays

Victory: I had a successful observation today. My supervisor told me I was splendid, blah, blah blah. But he wouldn't tell me what I can improve. I KNOW there's stuff. Why won't he tell me?

Fail: At least my mentor teacher makes up for my supervisor's positive oozings. I feel, hear, and see her disapproval daily. While she does find time to criticize, unfortunately, she can't help me with my lessons.

Fail: I tried to buy a dress in my size today, but the store was out.

Victory: The store employee made me try on a size teensy, and it fit. AND it was on clearance.

spring in sight

Why hadn't I noticed the crocuses start to come out?

They are in full bloom today.