Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Spanish Class Booker Awards

Stories written while I was out sick. They are translated for meaning, not accuracy (some of the words are wrong). :)

Un dia Brett juega en la clase de español y tiene hambre. Brett dice, "Mrs. Solan, hazme un bocadillo ahora." Mrs. Solan va a la cafetería y prepara un bocadillo en la cafeteria. En la clase de espanol los estudiantes van a la Chuck E Cheese. Mrs. Solan regresa a la clase y no hay estudiantes. Mrs. Solan dice "ay chihuahua. Yo necesito los estudiantes." Mrs Solan va la la chuck-E-Cheese y grita "Regresa a la clase ahora." Brett está en el agujero de bols y Mrs. Solan está muy furiosa. Brett agarra el bocadillo de Mrs. Solan y regresa a la clase de español. El Fin.

One day Brett plays in Spanish class and gets hungry. He says, "Mrs. Solan, make me a sandwich now." Mrs. Solan goes to the cafeteria and prepares a sandwich in the cafeteria. In Spanish class, the students go to Chuck E Cheese. Mrs. Solan returns to class and there aren't any students. Mrs. Solan says, "Ay chihuahua. I need the students." Mrs. Solan goes to Chuck-E-Cheese and yells, "Get back to class now." Brett is in the ball pit and Mrs. Solan is very furious. Brett grabs the sandwich from Mrs. Solan and returns to class. The end.

And choice exerpts from others:

El gato robato ataca humanos porque los cerebros son grandes. De repente, las baterías del gato robato mueren.

The robot cat attacks humans because their brains are big. Suddenly, the robot cat's batteries die.

Baillin Walling tiene dedos de salchica.

Baillin Walling has sausage fingers.

Hay una chica. Ella va al centro comerical con su cacahuate. Pero ellos viven en la selva. Cuando entran el centro comercial un mono ataca ellos y el mono come el cacahuate. Ay chihuahua. Ella va y compra un amigo nuevo. Ella compra un platano. Pero un mono ataca la chica y come el platano. El fin.

There is a girl. She goes to the mall with her peanut. But they live in the jungle. When they enter the mall, a monkey attacks them and the monkey eats the peanut. Oh bummer. She goes and buys a new friend. She buys a banana. But a monkey attacks the girl and eats the banana. The end.

El tiburon entra el centro comercial. El tiburon entra champs y compra los pantalones cortos. El tiburon va a la casa. La novia del tiburon dice, "no me gustan pantalones cortos. El tiburon dice no se. el tiburaon va a la cantina y bebe para olvidar sus problemas.

The shark enters the mall. The shark enters Champs and buys shorts. The shark goes home. His girlfriend says, "I don't like shorts." The shark says, "I don't know." The shark goes to the bar and drinks to forget his problems.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Top 10 Signs a Substitute is a Substidon't

1. The class average on an assignment jumped from 29% (with regular teacher present) to 86% (substitute present)
2. The two class troublemakers love him
3. Underneath the directions on the lesson plan, the sub wrote, "We didn't have anything to do in this period."
4. Chairs are strewn throughout the classroom
5. The vocab quiz the kids were supposed to take mysteriously disappeared
6. There are thirty extra vocab quizzes sitting on my desk
7. The most commonly used adjective students use to describe him is "Creeper"
8. "Is hot" has been added to the teacher's room nameplate
9. The word "GAY" was written across the whiteboard in red marker
10. There is a swastika in the corner of the whiteboard.

On an additional note, I have to figure out how to deal with a kid who made fun of my coworker's accent when she (kindly and without duress) took over my class so I could leave early. The kicker: there are 3 students in that period who are from other countries and have accents. Some people make me mad. Oh - and the other irony is that the mocker is black. Yeah. Let's put people down because they're different and they can't help it.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Because sometimes you need a nice dinner all to yourself.