1. Spell the protagonist's name correctly.
2. Capitalize the protagonist's name, and indeed ALL names. You are JUNIORS. This is a 2nd grade skill.
3. Write in complete sentences. While fragments can be artistic.
4. If your teacher tells you to Avoid First Person At All Cost, please do so.
5. If your teacher tells you to have a thesis, spends an entire day teaching you how to write one and gives you time in class to write one, include it in your essay. It was not for fun.
6. If you teacher tells you in No Circumstance Whatever to use the phrase "In conclusion," avoid it. Please.
7. Turn it in on time. Or, if you turn it in late, whine thee not about the aforewarned late fee.
8. Turn it in at all. Really.
9. Avoid treating it like a book review. I don't care if you liked the book. I don't care if you'd recommend it to all your friends. Analyze the beast.
10. Two sentences do not constitute a paragraph. I said 8-10, children. I mean 8-10.
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5 comments:
8-10 sentences per paragraph? What kind of uppity, tree-enclosed school did you go to?
Praise the Lord for the days of 4-5 sentences. I would've never made it through school with these new-fangled rules. Is fangled a word? Maybe I shouldn't have made it through school.
I feel slightly guilty to all those 5th grades I taught about 4-5. Maybe even 3.
Repent, Jon. The end is near.
Wow. That sounds painful and you didn't even mention coma splices, run on sentances and made up words. I think D.S. should give you a back massage just for making it through. Then chocolate because you are awesome and because he likes you so much.
Way to go, maerie! I am so proud of you. I think i'll. I really liked yur post, and i'll recommen it to all my friendz.
In conclusion, I totally heart U.
I think now would be a perfectly appropriate time to spit on Jeni.
(And some highschoolers).
Jon - 4-5 sentences for 5th graders is perfectly acceptable. 17 year olds should be able to write more. All I ask for is two pieces of evidence & explanations per paragraph. Gah!
Maybe I am an uppity teacher - i should just grade on effort... or maybe just give everyone an A who comes to class. or have a text-message contest and give the winner an A.
Can I spit on them? that sounds nice.
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