Thursday, January 12, 2006

Wait, I'm not pregnant?

Ocassionally, I am a vivid dreamer. My dreams can be so present in my mind that I wake up believing wholeheartedly that my dream the night before was reality. This has been known to last for as long as three or four days.

Last night I dreamt that I was three months pregnant. I went in to the ob/gyn with my mom (who lives 300 miles away in real life), and the doc came in and said, "well, hon, you're three months along. who's the father?"

That question really confused me. I don't think I answered. But I remember feeling sharp panic, guilt, and fear. My mom was super: calm, collected, smiling. I bolted from the office into my own room and examined my belly. It looks like it does in real, non-pregnant life. Increase panic as I think of my poor eating habits and the occasional glass of wine that might have hurt my baby. Increase confusion as I think about who the father is, and realize that I haven't had sex. Pregnant women almost always have sex first. Then I think of every sketchy public restroom I've been in and wonder if we can catch sperm like we can catch crabs. Eew.

Then I realize no one will believe me and I will be ostracized as a whore and a liar, the latter being less forgivable. Eventually, I suck it up and think, 'oh well. good thing I like babies and have a job. I should look into health insurance.'

I wake up, and believe for approximately half an hour that I am, indeed, with child. It took a lot of effort to realize that it was a dream.

This happened last January too. I believed I was pregnant for three or four days and walked around feeling afraid and ashamed. Now I'm stuck trying to figure out where this came from in the depths of my subconscious. Any ideas?

3 comments:

Andrew Seely said...

Studies have shown that the frequent eating of Kraft Mac and Cheese and the subsuquent Easy Mac can lead to abnormal lucid dream cycles in young white females. In a more recent publishing in the journal of fast foods and quick meals, it was reported that some people experienced a change in their demeanor, in which they described as cheesetastic.

- Associated Press

Anonymous said...

I hate pregnant dreams.
Freud's probably written reams on this...

Jenevieve said...

Hehehe... "catch sperm" on the public toilet seats... not likely, but funny to think about.


body.

ew!
:)