I went to my yearly Lady Doctor appointment this week. It was everything I imagined and more, and I don't mean happy things. Male readers, ye be warned. This is a girl post.
She was a very nice lady - stoutish and wearing a red corduroy dress. She chatted about traveling and foreign films while feeling me up, and I wondered how many times a day she chats about those topics, over and over again, trying to set her patients at ease.
Easily the highlight was when she put on her cute orange latex glove, squirted a big ole dollop of KY, and turned her finger toward me. Waving the finger at me, she said in a finger voice, "Hi, Mary. I'm all jellied up, I'm cold, and I'm comin' in!"
Seriously.
I also appreciated, "I just want you to know that I am here for all your contraceptive needs." Well thanks, doc. Part of those contraceptive needs included a birth control switch, which immediately messed me up. Bad. I've gone from deliriously happy to hopelessly depressed within 20 minutes. Gah! Hormones.
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2 comments:
Ok. I just have to say, that any orange, gooey, finger or finger shaped appendage that talks to me in a high voice during anything having to do with Lady things is Not Ok. I am weeping in sympathy for you. Also, hormones are jerks.
Between you and LN, I may never stop giggling. At least the Dr. was trying? The last Pap I had, I don't even think the doc introduced herself before gettin' Biblical with me. Yuck.
HAHAHAHA! My captcha is 'condome'!
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