Fwd: Take Care

If, perchance, you decide to finish that box of delicious whole-wheat rotini in the cupboard, take care to check the box if it has been sitting in the cupboard for any period of time. 

You may dump the contents into your pot of boiling water only to see a hundred tiny millipede carcasses float to the top of the bubbles.  After gagging, checking the now almost-empty-except-for-those-bug-shells box, and deciding you refuse outright to eat the pasta, it will be of little comfort that at least you slaughtered all of them in a rolling boil of death.

Trust me.

Summer, days 1-4

Summer break started with a bang.  And by bang I mean unexpected nap on the couch with my purse because I was too tired to put it down.  But after that, the fun really got started with some Big Al's bachelorette fun.  Yippekiyay.  I had no way of preparing myself for that brand of Cowboy Glory. 

• Cowboy boots hanging from the bar.  Check.
• Real Live Idaho Cowboys.  Check.
• Aforementioned cowboys smoking inside with their Miller High Life.  Check.
• Beer pong tables set up and ready to go.  Check.
• Mechanical bull and lasciviously-grinning operator.  Check.
• Country swing.  Check.

The first full day of summer (both in the No School and Hot and Sunny aspects), I got to make a Cook's Illustrated Cherry Pie... Delicious to the nth degree, but I haven't decided if it's worth the halving-and-pitting of that many cherries.  I did have a slice last night, and I think it improved in the interim.  Flaky crust, delicious cherry filling... and ice cream.  Yum yum yum.  And we started building a shed in the backyard to host the tools which will be moved out of dad-in-law's garage soon.  Unless he changes his mind and lets us annex the garage, pool, and hot tub onto our property.  Dad?? (insert puppy dog eyes here).

AND I got to see MIRANDA!  We realized it had been over two years.  But I loved seeing her and feeding her pie. :)

Followed by Blind Side and ice cream.  Hurray!  First day down.

Day 2:  Chores, church, sandwich, neighbors, wedding!  run to Cannon Hill Park (where strangers laughed and my Running Dancing)

Day 3:  Gym (reluctantly), then on to work to do some editing of curriculum with Margarita.  I got paid.  YES!  Stopped to buy flowers on the way home and spent 2 1/2 hours planting.  I'm hoping to get the yard in capital-G Glory for Karli's bridal shower in a couple weeks. 

Then Small Group.  I'm pretty sure they are the most fun small group in the History of the Known World. We decided that our Summer Extravaganza is going to be a Film Festival in which everyone makes their own short film and we have a party to present them.  HOW FUN IS THAT??  I'm torn between an Edgy Foreign Flick (captions in English, no real plotline) and a Spy Thriller.  Decisions decisions.  Anyone want to act with me this summer?

Day 4 (today):  The 2nd anniversary of our marriage!  Hip hip hooray for a husband who exceeds my hopes in every way and who intentionally builds friendship and romance with me.

funny spanish video.wmv

More Crazy Parents (or How I Wasted Two Hours Dealing with Nincompoops When I Should Have Been Grading Finals)

Dear Parents,

I am rarely angry. In fact, generally speaking, I am the soul of patience and compassion. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the opportunity to be filled with a burning rage for the afternoon! What an interesting experience! And the added bonus of self-control by holding my tongue and not swearing at you, yelling, or berating your second-rate offspring! You are too generous.

In case you weren't listening to me earlier because you were too busy yelling at me on speakerphone (another new experience! Both of you yelling at once! What novelty!), I would like to make a few key points clear.

Main Point: It is not my fault that your son is inevitably destined to drop out of school. That pleasure, I'm afraid, must belong to the two of you and your spawn.

If, however, he stays in school here are some useful tips for you to keep track of him:

Do

1. Think about the situation in its entirety before yelling incoherently at a teacher.
2. If you think in September that your son may do better with a teacher whose class he has not previously failed, switch teachers immediately.
3. Take away his damn cell phone.
4. Don't just check his grades online! Check his attendance as well! Perhaps if he is late to 4th period more than, say 10 times a semester, you should ask him to shorten his marijuana time with friends at lunch so he can go to class.
5. Take responsibility for your own kid.
6. Be concerned before finals week if you son has a D or lower in Spanish I... for the second time in his high school career. And don't be surprised and infuriated with the teacher that it dropped to an F. Perhaps it was because the student failed. Weird.
7. Read the class information sheet that was sent home in September. I promise it explained in detail the grading policy, deadline for making up tests, participation, and cell phone policy. Oh oops... that was the second missing assignment of the year.
8. That should have been a red flag.

And, just for future reference, calling me a heartless person without compassion who should have taken responsibility for the situation was not very kind. Or accurate. I assumed that a 17 year old, whom I check in with weekly, should be able to a) Learn the material that he missed last time around; b) Use the plethora of resources around him, including the two special Spanish-speaking tutors, for extra help; and c) Advocate for himself. If he can't, you didn't do your job either.