and i've been tagged

i'm skipping the links because i don't know anyone who hasn't already done this.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

January 1996: at the tender age of 12, i was swearing like a sailor, determining my worth by number of boyfriends (then 0, both worth and boyfriends), getting into verbal fights with my "best friend", and generally living a lonely, depressed, and chaotic life.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

January 2005: Oh! i had just finished the Best January Ever, taking spanish, water aerobics and ballroom dancing. by tuesday morning i had gone to my first senior project class and was feeling panicked and afraid of dr. death sugano. otherwise, enjoying friends tremendously.


Five snacks you enjoy:

A. blueberry poptarts
B. fruit and nut granola bars
C. chips and salsa
D. yogurt
E. cheetos

Five songs you know all the words to:

A. "Buleria" by David Bisbal
B. "His Eye is on the Sparrow" as sung by Lauryn Hill
C. "Fever" as sung by Michael Buble
D. "On Jordan's Stormy Banks I Stand" by Jars of Clay
E. pretty much everything by Jennifer Knapp

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
A. travel like a madwoman
B. feed and house some people
C. buy my mom a new car
D. send some kids to college
E. buy a little black dress... and shoes.

Five bad habits:
A. coffee addiction
B. i'm with jeni on the self-deprecation
C. surviving on verbal affirmation
D. worrying
E. general swooning

Five things you enjoy doing:
A. reading
B. laughing
C. listening to amazing live music in my living room
D. ice skating
E. cooking

Five things you would never wear again:
A. paint-spatter stretch pants
B. anything with neon hearts on it
C. yellow scrunchi with beads.... eeewww
D. shirts that show my belly
E. t-shirts with puppies on them

Five favorite toys:
A. my cell phone
B. deck of cards
C. the toy in my car that twirls around and lights up
D. ellyn's cow flashlight that moos
E. hair straightener...

the situation:

so, i think we're all feeling much better.

although none of us has spent more than 45 minutes at home alone when it's dark.

i personally have made 2 frantic phone calls around sunset seeking refuge. the first one was along the lines of, "hey guys. where are you? can i come? nobody's at home and it's dark and i have an hour and a half before i have to be somewhere and i don't know what to do and i hate asking for help like this but could you possibly want to hang out. maybe?" the second one went a little like this, "um... hi. it's mary. so... it's pretty dark outside. are you at home? can i come over?"

i am not known for my eloquence.

but yay for friends who let me randomly show up at their houses and even give me mike's hard lime and dinner!

and fury wells up within me

last night, i was home alone, getting ready to go to group. i went potty then sat on my bed to put shoes on, when i heard something moving on the roof right overhead. between my head and the SKYLIGHT OVER THE FREAKING BATHROOM WHERE WE PEE AND GET NAKED. i sat very still and listened. someone (it was a person) took three steps, sat down, slid off the roof (he was wearing a hoodie with a zipper), landed lightly on the deck and walked calmly away.

it was not a cat, crow, frisbee, or imagined sprite. it was most definitely a person. i freaked out a little, grabbed my purse and fled to my car. my group leader made me call the police. they checked it out, found nothing. we taped paper over the skylight. three of our Brave and Wonderful guy friends (well, one is a boyfriend of a roommate) came over to make their presence known and calm us. four if you count mr. opted out who stood in the doorway awkwardly for 5 minutes to make sure we were ok, then left.

i feel Vulnerable, Helpless, Violated, and Angry. FILLED WITH RAGE, even. And I have no idea what to do now. I am positively itching to ACT, but can't think of anything productive to do. Ideas?

The Difficulty Caused by Handsome Bosses

When my boss calls at 10pm to ask if I can drive a sullen teenage girl from the Valley to Medical Lake at 6:45 in the morning, I say, "Sure, no problem!"

Sensible? Not so much.

Charitable and/or hardworking? Definitely not.

Temporary brain malfuncion caused by swooning? Probably.

Significance?

What does it mean, exactly, when one gets stood up by a therapist? Not mine, per se. I have bi-monthly meetings with my foster kids' therapists, and occasionally get stood up. Like this morning when I dutifully showed up at 8:15 am. Oh well.