Spanish Class Booker Awards

Stories written while I was out sick. They are translated for meaning, not accuracy (some of the words are wrong). :)

Un dia Brett juega en la clase de español y tiene hambre. Brett dice, "Mrs. Solan, hazme un bocadillo ahora." Mrs. Solan va a la cafetería y prepara un bocadillo en la cafeteria. En la clase de espanol los estudiantes van a la Chuck E Cheese. Mrs. Solan regresa a la clase y no hay estudiantes. Mrs. Solan dice "ay chihuahua. Yo necesito los estudiantes." Mrs Solan va la la chuck-E-Cheese y grita "Regresa a la clase ahora." Brett está en el agujero de bols y Mrs. Solan está muy furiosa. Brett agarra el bocadillo de Mrs. Solan y regresa a la clase de español. El Fin.

One day Brett plays in Spanish class and gets hungry. He says, "Mrs. Solan, make me a sandwich now." Mrs. Solan goes to the cafeteria and prepares a sandwich in the cafeteria. In Spanish class, the students go to Chuck E Cheese. Mrs. Solan returns to class and there aren't any students. Mrs. Solan says, "Ay chihuahua. I need the students." Mrs. Solan goes to Chuck-E-Cheese and yells, "Get back to class now." Brett is in the ball pit and Mrs. Solan is very furious. Brett grabs the sandwich from Mrs. Solan and returns to class. The end.

And choice exerpts from others:

El gato robato ataca humanos porque los cerebros son grandes. De repente, las baterías del gato robato mueren.

The robot cat attacks humans because their brains are big. Suddenly, the robot cat's batteries die.

Baillin Walling tiene dedos de salchica.

Baillin Walling has sausage fingers.

Hay una chica. Ella va al centro comerical con su cacahuate. Pero ellos viven en la selva. Cuando entran el centro comercial un mono ataca ellos y el mono come el cacahuate. Ay chihuahua. Ella va y compra un amigo nuevo. Ella compra un platano. Pero un mono ataca la chica y come el platano. El fin.

There is a girl. She goes to the mall with her peanut. But they live in the jungle. When they enter the mall, a monkey attacks them and the monkey eats the peanut. Oh bummer. She goes and buys a new friend. She buys a banana. But a monkey attacks the girl and eats the banana. The end.

El tiburon entra el centro comercial. El tiburon entra champs y compra los pantalones cortos. El tiburon va a la casa. La novia del tiburon dice, "no me gustan pantalones cortos. El tiburon dice no se. el tiburaon va a la cantina y bebe para olvidar sus problemas.

The shark enters the mall. The shark enters Champs and buys shorts. The shark goes home. His girlfriend says, "I don't like shorts." The shark says, "I don't know." The shark goes to the bar and drinks to forget his problems.

Top 10 Signs a Substitute is a Substidon't

1. The class average on an assignment jumped from 29% (with regular teacher present) to 86% (substitute present)
2. The two class troublemakers love him
3. Underneath the directions on the lesson plan, the sub wrote, "We didn't have anything to do in this period."
4. Chairs are strewn throughout the classroom
5. The vocab quiz the kids were supposed to take mysteriously disappeared
6. There are thirty extra vocab quizzes sitting on my desk
7. The most commonly used adjective students use to describe him is "Creeper"
8. "Is hot" has been added to the teacher's room nameplate
9. The word "GAY" was written across the whiteboard in red marker
10. There is a swastika in the corner of the whiteboard.

On an additional note, I have to figure out how to deal with a kid who made fun of my coworker's accent when she (kindly and without duress) took over my class so I could leave early. The kicker: there are 3 students in that period who are from other countries and have accents. Some people make me mad. Oh - and the other irony is that the mocker is black. Yeah. Let's put people down because they're different and they can't help it.

Because sometimes you need a nice dinner all to yourself.

Fifty

Fifty Alternative and Appropriate Ways I Could Have Expressed Myself Better Than by Saying, "What the Hell?"
As turned in by Pablo today.

1. Wut?
2. Wut the google?
3. Wut the gout?
4. Wut did you say?
5. Wow
6. relly
7. why did you say that
8. critan
9. why me
10. thats cool
11. thats nice
12. I dint need to no that
13. how dos your mom feal about that?
14. shut the front door
15. rell mucher
16. good one
17. how did you no
18. I dint no that
19. thats not cool
20. why would you say that
21. thats stoker statis
22. I dint no you liked that
23. does you dad no
24. did you talk to my mom
25. how tells this liyes
26. how was your lunch
27. that angerd me
28. Im telling mom
29. Im telling dad
30. Ill git you back
31. holy stics
32. holy tost
33. holy goat
34. holy mother of mine
35. holy mike (boy in the class... last name deleted for privacy)
36. sond fun
37. you sond like sheep
38. you smell like sheep
39. are you a gout
40. how do you live with your self
41. look a goos
42. why mee
43. do you have to talk
44. I disagre
45. wut the dog
46. wut the can
47. wut the house
48. wut the school
49. wut the monster man
50. I'll google that

My personal favorites are #38 and #43. I'd also like to point out that this student can spell the word "would" correctly, but has trouble with... everything else. Can anyone figure out #s 8, 15, or 25?

School!

Three days down - one hundred and seventy-seven to go!

I look around my second year classes and think fuzzy thoughts about my students from last year. They are energetic and focused and well-trained. I've already broken their will and don't have to work too hard to manage them.

The first years are learning slowly. I appear all Sweetness and Light. Until you screw around.

I spent some time looking up some of my kids' disciplinary records. Holy cow - some of these kids were getting into Serious Trouble at a very young age (think snorting smashed hyros at school or bringing glass shards and threatening to cut someone until they're dead in 7th grade). Yikes.

In the meantime, there is much to get used to. High heels. Dress clothes. Performing the Mary Show 5 hours a day. Waking up at 6. You know, work.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm thinking about taking up Bog Snorkling. Anyone want to train with me?