aaahhh....

I'm sitting here with Heidi in an internet cafe in Waikiki. [insert sigh of utter contentment here]. We arrived on Friday night and had two and a half days of mostly torrential downpour. Noah-esque. But today, after spending the morning in Pearl Harbor under an umbrella and a fervent prayer to our merciful Lord, the sky cleared. Mom and I met up with Heidi and Brandon at the beach and promptly got sunburnt. Only a little. I went swimming in the ocean. We drank pina coladas under pink umbrellas.

It's been fabulous despite the rain. We went to Heidi's church on Sunday and hung out with some church-folk afterwards. And we've been exploring a lot. Tomorrow's agenda: snorkling with Captain Bob. Yeah. I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

Meanwhile, here are some awesome beach pictures:

that's right!

the rumors are true. i am officially hawaii-bound as of 10:30 this morning.

my mom and i are taking advantage of a super-low-priced flight & hotel deal to visit my dear friends heidi (teaching preschool in honolulu) and brandon (decoding something secret in pearl harbor). i am so excited to see them.

i am also excited to see some sunshine, go swimming (one of my favoritest things ever), and only wear one layer at a time. no more five-layered outfits for me!

the rumors are also true about the zags. oh heartbreak. i don't want to talk about it right now, though. or ever. poor kids.

better

so, thanks for the encouragement, guys. i'm feeling much better. the application is almost done and so is much of my work. well, much of the work i've decided to actually do... i spent the afternoon getting mistaken for an unwed mother, sparking conversations about child support and how to pick the father of one's children. it was pretty funny.

imploding

I got home yesterday from my morning job completely frazzled. I don't really remember if I actually greeted my lovely redheaded roommate, or if I just started yelling.

Translated into calm, clear communication, it went something like this: I'm a little overwhelmed by the amount of work on my plate right now. I'm doing the work of two people at the paper until my boss hires a new girl, and I had to deal with an irrational customer. My Masters application is apparently not complete. They said they emailed me the form to fill out, but I never received it. I actually don't believe I have time to fill it out. I also need to schedule two meetings, fill out my expense sheet for the month, do my timesheets, talk to hot boss about my vacation, find more subs for said vacation, and schedule my work for tomorrow and perhaps wednesday. I realize wednesday is my afternoon off, but it looks like I need to work. Again. Yes, that will mean I will not have had a wednesday afternoon to recoup for three weeks. I found out I need to get health insurance pronto because my school will not provide it until september, even though I will be a student starting in june. I am also supposed to be leading bible study tonight. I have not had the time to do any of thse things. I do not have time to do any of these things. Especially not in the next three days. I might feel better if I would stop waking up before 6 am consistently.

[all of this was yelled and much less coherent]

I need to plan what to do with my 12 year old today. Perhaps we will buy china at value village and throw it off an overpass to hear it smash. Or we'll buy baseball bats at the dollar store and smash people's cars. Smashing... that would be gratifying. Or maybe we'll go to the Chocolate Apothecary... [insert sensation of calm and joy]. Wow. I feel better just thinking about it.

The gourmet triple chocolate drink helped my mood tremendously, and I've been plugging away at my to do list. At the moment I'm feeling ok. I did have a stressed out crying fit this morning, though. And I'm considering blowing off work tomorrow afternoon. A girl can only do so much.

things that made my cry yesterday:

1) watching my mom take communion

2) listening to my friend kelly sing the doxology

3) hearing my friend choke up talking about how hard work is right now

overall, the weekend was fabulous. time with mom, good food, fun friends, long walks, a quality conversation with my friend Karl, and finally sleeping in my own Heavenly Bed last night. now let's see if i can get through these next four days... and then... hawaii!

princess charm

Complete Success!

I walked in a little nervous, and she was super shy. She was waving a pink sparkley belt around, and I said, "ooh, I really like your belt. It matches my sparkley shoes, see?" She looked at me. I asked her what her favorite color was. She looked at me. I talked to her babysitter for a couple minutes. She ran and grabbed Candyland and said, "Let's play Candyland! I want to be blue. What color are you?" She then tried on my shoes, made me try on her shoes, introduced me to the cat, played with my princess hair, told me she liked my earrings, gave me a tour of the house, and threw a little tantrum when I left. So, next time we work on the tantrum, but at least she likes me!

And she is actually one of the cutest girls I've ever seen.

wish me luck!

i'm meeting my new 5 yr old client today! according to her therapist, she is "the cutest girl i've ever seen... but a handful. mary, be sure to come to work with a lot of energy." so... tough crowd.

but never fear! i have developed a strategy to make her love me: i am looking as much like a princess as i can. that's right, sparkley shoes, pink shirt, long flowy hair, dangley pink earrings. i'm pouring on all the glittery princess charm. and, of course, stability, strength, and structure.

i'll let y'all know how it goes.

pensating in pink

First of all, sorry for being a hobo-blogger. I've been sorting through some blogger-identity issues. And sorry to Matt for changing my picture. I'm not sorry enough to change it back, though. I kind of like it. It suits my mood for now.

I worked with the funniest 9 yr old boy today. He told nonsensical knock knock jokes for about 45 minutes, and played with my toy cars for the other 45 minutes. He also took an awesome picture of the sky with my cell phone and put it on the wallpaper. Overall, a delightful shift.

It was a slightly traumatic week. I said goodbye to one of my clients, which hit me way harder than I expected it too. Turns out, I'm pretty emotionally invested in my kids. I haven't decided if that's good or unhealthy. I also haven't decided whether or not I can help the amount of passion I pour into my work. If I am a fairly passionate person in general, can I control it or not? Anyway, a mere smattering of things that have been going on in my head.

On a brighter note, life here has been more than merely Gloom and Wrenching Passion. Here are some examples of what Ellyn and I do in our free time:

wahoo!

I have now been officially accepted into the Master in Teaching program. This time next year I will be trying desperately to make a classroom full of high school students care about English. And Spanish. But probably not at the same time. So hip hip hurrah!

shakespeare!

If you ever are in need of something fun to do, I highly recommend acting out King Lear with your friends. Here are some photos of the ensuing marvel:

poetry and car crashes

well, maybe not actual crashes... near misses would be a more appropriate term for the situation. but here's my burning question of the day: do any of you ever have poetry (silly, serious, or otherwise) explode like a cist in your mind so that you can do nothing else but write it down right then and there?

that happened to me today. unfortunately, i was driving at the time. picture me, if you will, driving down ash frantically scribbling on old receipts and trying not to crash into parked cars. yes, i realize it's dangerous.

the clincher is that it was definitely a very silly poem about suicidal squirrels and vehicular homicide. it wasn't even deep and meaningful.

more vivid dreams

In this most recent one, a man of my acquaintance proclaimed his love for me publicly and decided we were dating seriously. Without any input from me. Now, this man in real life is charming and delightful, but I woke up in a rage against him. Until I realized that I was only dreaming. Then I was a little disappointed.